Want to Get a SINGAPORE GIRLFRIEND, but Think You’re Too Shy to Meet Women? Then You Need “Shy Guy Game” and a “Chill Vibe”

Want to Get a Girlfriend in Singapore but Think You’re Too Shy to Meet New Women? Then You Need SHY GUY GAME

If you want to meet and date amazing women in Singapore, you do NOT have to be loud, brash, or the stereotypical “party guy.”

Many men in Singapore have strange notions of how a “cool guy” or a “guy who gets women” behaves and looks.

They think he’s smiling and leaning into the girl, like the classic (awful) pose with her leaning her back against the wall and him with his arm fully extended, pushing against the wall while leaning in facing her.

Or worse (and a rookie-mistake), he thinks the “cool guy” is loud, laughing, and moving his arms and hands around in big and rapid gestures.

Or worse still, that he’s dancing all out and putting on a show, or dancing with all the girls. Like some horrible Asian parody of Vince Vaughan in the Wedding Crashers.

There is a time and place for Loud Guy Game or “flash game” or “frat boy game.” And it is a useful skill to call on when necessary.

But more often than not, the loud, laughing, gesticulating guy is a dancing monkey, a try-hard, a tool. As sad as it is, most wannabe-PUAs in Singapore try to act like this.

To meet, attract, and date beautiful women, you do NOT need to “own the room,” or have everyone listening to you or talking to you, or have ten women around you in the club.

That’s intermediate level. It’s “flash game.” It might be impressive to look at, but it doesn’t say anything about whether you’re actually closing the deal.

The Strong Silent Type

The best social artist I’ve ever met-including any pick-up artist I’ve ever met-never bothered to “work the room” or “win over the obstacles” or “be the loud party guy.” At the club, he spent most of his time joking around with a few buddies and drinking. But he pulled off the most unbelievably fast closes I’ve ever heard of, let alone witnessed. Like 10-minute bathroom pulls. I learned a ton from just being around that man.

He wasn’t your typical “social guy.” He was definitely enjoying himself and his company. But he didn’t talk to everyone. Instead, when he saw a woman he wanted to talk to, he would have no hesitation in walking up to her and saying something like, “Hey, there’s something you should know.” And next thing you know, they’re in a conversation, and she’s entranced.

He would do this anywhere-on the street during the day, in cafes in the evening, and at big dance clubs at night.

(I recommend to less advanced guys that they need to habituate themselves to be more social and warm up their social muscles first, talking to the first people they see when they walk out the door and just being Mr. Social. But those are training wheels. When you’ve got the right mindset completely internalized, you don’t need that anymore.)

Notice that he wasn’t the extroverted social guy. He didn’t go around the bar high-fiving everyone, or trying to be the center of attention, or talking to more than one girl at a time, or making wild gestures, or doing cheesy dance moves like starting a “dance-off” with random girls. And he wasn’t all that loud. You could only hear him in a big nightclub if he were talking into your ear.

There is definitely a place for the strong, silent type. In fact, this is the same archetype as the classic seducer, James Bond. It’s also the seductive style of a Thomas Crown, as well as many of George Clooney’s characters, Johnny Depp’s characters, and Di Caprio’s character in The Departed.

This is a more mature, sophisticated, and powerful style.

Many of my very best clients are never obvious. I’m talking about the guys who are sleeping with beauty queens, runway models, and some of the most desirable women around. You shouldn’t be able to look at that guy and spot any “game.”

When you watch him, you should not think he’s doing anything unusual. He shouldn’t be drawing attention to himself. Instead, you should be thinking that the girl he had just approached and is talking to is his good friend, even though in reality, they had just met.

This isn’t always the case with effective social artists. Some guys are naturally loud, talkative, and extroverted. That’s great for them. The Vince Vaughan style or “frat boy” game is a natural fit for guys like that. It’s best to work with what you’ve already got.

But many men who seek out my help are natural introverts. That’s why they’re in their lonely predicaments in the first place.

One Important Caveat

There is, though, one important caveat: Although I call it Shy Guy Game, ˜shy’ may not be the right word for it. If ˜shy’ means “lacking self-confidence, timid, hesitant, anxious, or easily frightened,” then no, ˜shy’ is never good in social settings.

However, if you understand ˜shy’ to mean something more like ˜introverted,’ then there is definitely Introverted Guy Game. I would have used that in the title except Shy Guy Game has a nicer ring to it, lol. I also like telling people at parties that, “I’m shy.” Of course, when I say it, you would know it’s a joke and not true, like saying, “I can’t speak English.”

By ˜introverted,’ I mean that the guy draws his energy from within himself and doesn’t need to be around others to be energized and excited. People like this are usually more introspective.

Shy Guy Game still requires you to be confident, comfortable, and enjoying yourself in social settings. You just don’t need to be talking very much, or laughing all the time. You don’t need to be high energy or dancing at all. This is also the lazy man’s game. As one of my favourite heroes, Bruce Lee, has said, “The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.”

Socially adept introverts are relatively harder to find, but many exist. And in fact, adult women often find the strong, silent type even more attractive than the talkative party guy.

The challenge for introverts is to develop the social skills to the point where they can turn on their sociability at will, like my natural friend I mentioned above and like my best clients, such as John Tan.

These are guys who can sit at the bar of a loud dance club, enjoying drinks with their buddies for three hours and not talking to anyone else, and then in the fourth hour, see a woman they want to meet and open her naturally without hesitation.

Admittedly, Shy Guy Game is harder to master. But once you have, it’s extraordinarily effective and versatile.

How Do You Do It?

So now you’re probably wondering, “Hey, Dave, that’s great. I’m shy and do not like to talk a lot, even around friends. But, I’m still unable to just approach hot girls whenever I want. So, how do I do it?”

Well, the easy answer is to register at the Aura Dating Academy and get training in the fundamentals.

But you probably want a quick answer now, so here’s an initial stab at it.

Shy Guy Game is a kind of low energy chill vibe. You’re relaxed and calm, breathing deeply, and above all, ENJOYING YOURSELF, which is another way of saying, “Have fun!”

When James Bond is getting his shaken-not-stirred martini at the bar and not chatting up all the people around him but is instead chill and relaxed, he is ENJOYING HIMSELF.

First and foremost, learn to enjoy yourself in the settings and contexts in which you want to meet women. I’ve said this before in the Outcome Independence article.

Then, go with what you’ve already got. Don’t force yourself to be high energy or go-lucky party guy when that’s not your naturally chill, relaxed self.

A lot of my beginner clients need to take a Red Bull at the start of the night for an energy boost so that they will have the courage to step outside their comfort zone. But intermediate and advanced guys don’t have to do this.

In fact, if you’re more advanced and naturally introverted, you’re much better off just chilling at the bar and conserving your energy.

Slow down. Walk slowly. Move slowly. Smile slowly. Make deep and intense eye contact. Speak slowly and deliberately. Pause before key phrases and words.

Men of power and confidence do not need to hurry. Don’t rush. Invoke your inner Bond.

This is a chill, relaxed, comfortable vibe.

For an excellent example of a low energy vibe and a bold, direct approach that is seductive and powerful, check out this clip from the Oscar winning movie, Vicky, Cristina, and Barcelona. It also won a Golden Globe Award for Best Motion Picture-Musical or Comedy.

Keep in mind that this was not, strictly speaking, a cold approach. Bardem and Johansson’s characters made pretty intense eye contact just before Bardem’s character approached. And that was preceded by a scene in the art gallery earlier that day when Johansson first noticed Bardem. But this is the first time they are actually talking face to face.

Also, the opener is weak. And he makes the mistake of actually debating with the friend. But he does better as he goes on.

The point is to notice his low energy, seductive vibe. This is very similar to the style of some of the most successful “naturals” I’ve ever seen.

If you think that such a direct approach would never work on attractive women in Singapore, well, I can testify that my clients in Singapore have attempted such bold, direct approaches before and have succeeded multiple times. This direct approach works especially well on mature (read: over 27 yo.), higher status women.

Over 90% of the attraction is generated by the non-verbals, such as strong eye contact, tonality, body language, and your overall look.

Sorry the video is no longer available on Youtube…

There is a LOT more to be said about Shy Guy Game. And I hope to find the time in the future to write more about it. So stay tuned.

In the meantime, if you’re still a beginner, you need to learn the fundamentals first-that 20% of time and effort that gets you 80% of the results and success-such as those very non-verbals that enable you to do direct approaches effortlessly. So visit Aura Dating Academy and get some training.

Play on,

Asian Rake David

Leave a Comment:

7 comments
Wayne says November 12, 2010

Whoa, great post! I know exactly what you mean. On my good nights, I can do this.

Reply
fsh says November 15, 2010

Hey David, nice to see that you’re writing long, instructive articles again. Looking forward to more! Just a quick question though, I noticed that Bardem’s character basically never smiled at all in the clip above, while you advised to “smile slowly”. Is smiling essential?

Reply
Asian Rake says November 16, 2010

Hey FSH,
Glad you’re liking the longer articles!

No, smiling is not necessary. But I think Bardem’s character would have benefited from a slight smile, as if he knows something that they don’t, once the conversation gets going.

With the strong silent type, everything should be done slowly and smoothly.

Reply
Vincent says December 12, 2010

Hey David.

That video is a “mode one approach”…

Alan roger Currie, the author of the mode one book….

Is about approaching girls in boldness.

Does this type of approach works in asian country?

Reply
Asian Rake says December 12, 2010

Hey Vincent,
Currie’s book describes a direct style. He didn’t invent it, nor is he the best expositor of it.

Men have been doing direct approaches and “direct game” for thousands of years.

And yes, it works very well in Asia. Just check out my client LRs.

Cheers,
David

Reply
Vincent says January 20, 2011

Hey David,

I’ve only read the hardcore version of mode one.

But I think is too HARDCORE for asian girls to handler..lol..

Anyway, I like the clip and considering order the DVD of the film.

Happy CNY.

Thanks & rgrds,
Vincent

Reply
Asian Rake says January 23, 2011

Hey Vincent,
I think you’d be surprised at what Asian girls can handle…

Happy Lunar New Year to you, too!

Reply
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