How to Use Humour to Attract Women

This is my latest article on Amped Asia. You can check out my article on “How to Use Humor to Attract Women” here.

I’ve reproduced it below for your convenience. If the jpegs are too small, click on them, and that will enlarge them for you in a new browser.

As always, comments are welcome!

Question from Matthew: Everyone knows that humor is a big attraction tool. How does someone who’s not very funny, or is perhaps soft-spoken, develop a good ability with humor?

Hey Matthew,

You are totally correct that humor is a big attraction tool.

If you can’t even make a girl laugh, there’s very little chance you’ll be able to attract her. If you CAN make her laugh, you’ve got a good sign she’s at least comfortable with you and may accept your advances.

Lack of humor is a problem endemic to Confucianized cultures, including East Asian societies. We’re taught to think logically, to be conformists, and to be obedient to our parents and elders. Our Confucianized parents raised us to be good mathematicians, engineers, and classical pianists. We aren’t using to living in the mental world of the ridiculous or doing and saying outrageously bizarre things.

But just like any other skill, being comedic and conveying humor are things you can learn, practice, and master. I’ll give you three quick tips any Asian brothers or sisters can use to channel their inner Russell Peters.



Dialogue 3

You (as a guy approaching the most hottest women in the bar or club): Hey look, I know you guys are soo terribly unattractive that no guys would ever hit on you… So, I thought I’d do you a favor and make you look good… You guys are my good deed for the week (sly smile).

Don’t do this on average-looking girls or on women lacking self-esteem. This is reserved for women who are beautiful and know they’re beautiful. They will get the joke 😉

Check out Russell Brand for exemplary cases of the “Exaggerate to Absurdity” strategy, especially his interview with Nerina Pallot. For the Russell Brand Nerina Pallot interview, click here.





Leave a Comment:

JJ says March 10, 2011

I think humor in small doses is great, but I think most of the time, I see it used as a crutch. So instead of being that sexy guy, you become that funny guy.

I find it difficult to balance the two styles. Trying to be chill and sexy, but not too serious or heavy, or trying to be funny and light, but not becoming a clown.

I can see how using a lot of high energy, over the top humor can be useful in certain situations..

Asian Rake David says March 10, 2011

Hey JJ,
Yes, it’s important to keep in mind that you should never be funny all the time or even most of the time. If you’re keeping people laughing for more than 30 seconds straight, you’re already in danger of becoming the mere entertainer, and that’s bad for generating attraction, as I already mentioned in the article.

Instead, it’s much more effective to sprinkle humor throughout your interactions. It should never be the main or dominating ingredient.

Also, you don’t need to be high energy in order to be humorous. That’s a huge misconception.

There are many different styles of humor, including deadpan, low-energy, chill, and even sexy humor. Do some research on the top comedians in the world, and you’ll see a huge range of comedic styles.

Best, David

Marco Lee says March 15, 2011

Your examples here are really great. Though I’m not a humor person some bits of it unexpectedly may really do good.

Al says March 17, 2011

I’m really trying to understand how to be humorous without coming across the funny guy.
I’ve found that often once I “get in the zone” and have my creativity flowing, I can add a twist to anything that comes out of my mouth somewhat humorous (usually by exaggeration/absurdity).

I realize this would often push me into the funny guy zone, but I enjoy just letting my creativity flow and see where it leads me. Thus people often have a goofy impression of me.

Is there any good way to relish in my burst of creativity without risking the goofy impression?

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