It was a lot of fun, and the extra adrenaline rush from doing a LIVE TV show was exciting. The hosts were excellent at keeping everyone engaged, and the producers were very professional. The set was also huge, much bigger than it looks on the screen, as it was housed in a cavernous warehouse. The show aired from 8:15-9:15PM on BlogTV, and Channel NewsAsia picked it up from 8:30-9PM live on prime time television.

Here are a few clips. They’re from the online version, which was filmed using a different set of cameras from the Channel NewsAsia TV show, so it’s mainly static, with very little zooming, unlike the TV show. Thanks are due to LL for editing and uploading.

Cheers, David.

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Unfortunately, it seems the formatting was all lost in the conversion, so all the bold text is gone, but I’m sure you can figure it out. Check it out here for yourself!

Would love to hear your thoughts. You can contact me at: david@asianrake.com

Cheers!

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See this recent article by world renowned humanist scholar, Martha C. Nussbaum, professor of law and philosophy at the University of Chicago: The Ugly Models

An excerpt: “It is time to take off the rose-colored glasses. Singapore and China are terrible models of education for any nation that aspires to remain a pluralistic democracy. They have not succeeded on their own business-oriented terms, and they have energetically suppressed imagination and analysis when it comes to the future of the nation and the tough choices that lie before it.“

Also see this eye-opening article on “academic freedom” and creativity in Singapore.

Interesting excerpts:

“Self-censorship has made people afraid,” Singh says, referring to the tendency in Singapore to watch what one says for fear of causing offence or breaking the law.

“It is important for them to be bold, brave and robust.”

So Singh makes his students do what they fear most: take chances. For class projects, men have gone shopping dressed as women. Students have stopped strangers to ask for spare change or to ask them to exchange clothes. Such antics would hardly be worthy of a fraternity initiation, but in this conservative society they have made headlines. Indeed, in the early days of the class, the projects required a police permit.

…

Linda M. Perry, an American who has been teaching communications at the National University of Singapore for two years, says high-profile cases have persuaded people to censor themselves. Everyone is so terrified of crossing the line that most don’t even get close to it.

Perry is quick to acknowledge that no restrictions have been placed on her. There is no official list of topics she is not allowed to raise. Yet she knows exactly when she has crossed an OB marker. Something as innocuous as a discussion about the recent arrest of two bloggers, who were jailed for making racial slurs, caused a roomful of 200 people to freeze up, Perry says. Students later half-joked with her that she would find her things packed when she returned to her apartment.

“I can feel the fear in the room,” says Perry, who says she plans not to return to Singapore when her contract runs out next year. “You can cut it with a knife.”

Most Singaporeans don’t seem all that unhappy with the restrictions. For the past four decades, the ruling People’s Action Party has delivered stunning economic growth. What was once a malaria-ridden colonial outpost on the equator now has one of the highest standards of living in the world. While its neighbours are dragged down by poverty and ethnic strife, Singapore is an oasis of racial and religious stability. As long as the Government continues to deliver steady gains, observers say most people will accept the restrictions on what they can say and what they can publish.

Yet Shanmugaratnam is concerned that Singapore’s successes have produced a generation of young people who are apathetic.

Food for thought.

The good news is that, as SMU prof Kirpal Singh has discovered, social anxiety can be conquered and social comfort can be cultivated. Check back here later as I explain how to do it.

Cheers, Asian Rake David

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“Bonk” author Mary Roach delves into obscure scientific research, some of it centuries old, to make 10 surprising claims about sexual climax, ranging from the bizarre to the hilarious.

Death, the afterlife, and now sex — Mary Roach tackles the most pondered and least understood conundrums that have baffled humans for centuries. (She’s funny, too.)

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“If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think everything you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told you should want?

“Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned… Tyler”

(The warning at the start of the Fight Club DVD.)

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As true in athletics, arts, academics, and business as it is in the social arts.

Thanks to Angel Caido and Mr. M for sending along this video.

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Cheers, David.

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Both the original and the 2010 remake, starring Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith (son of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith), hold a lot of lessons for guys who are learning the social arts. Why not use pop culture–stuff guys are already watching–to teach higher level principles, which are usually expressed in a recondite and overly abstract manner, and to present them in a more accessible format? Haha, this is a fun article I’ve been meaning to do for a while actually, even before the remake came out.

If you haven’t seen the 2010 remake yet, I highly recommend it. The portrayal of Beijing and the mountain monasteries in China is not as romanticized as most Hollywood depictions, though the most modernized and glitziest parts of Beijing never figured in any of the scenes.

The 2010 remake trailer:

Yes. Indulge me for a minute

3 Lessons

1. Check Your Preconceptions at the Door, and Start from Scratch

Early in the movie, we see Jaden Smith’s character (I forgot the character’s name, so I’m just going to refer to him as Jaden) trying to learn martial arts from DVDs. Jackie Chan’s character (again, forgot the character’s name, so will refer to him as Chan) sees this while fixing something in Jaden’s apartment and realizes that there is very little chance Jaden will be able to learn martial arts from DVDs.

Well, ya gotta start somewhere. And as most guys out there, I too had my introduction from paperbacks, ebooks, audio programs, and DVDs. But I was fortunate enough to have real life mentors early on–guys like Christian Hudson and Sebastian Drake–guide me in person. Otherwise, I would have been stuck like Jaden or Daniel-san, trying to learn from a TV screen.

Later, when Jaden went to his first kung-fu lesson by Chan, the first thing Jaden did was to explain to Chan that he already knew some fighting moves and was naturally athletic, so he “wasn’t as bad as the average guy,” and that “it would be easier to teach him than to teach the average kid off the street.” Jaden proceeded to (try to) demonstrate some of what he could do and ended up making a mess, breaking Chan’s vase.

Instead of acknowledging any current abilities that Jaden might have already had, Chan ignored Jaden’s ego-protecting attempts at self-qualification and set for him the mundane task of having Jaden throw down and then hang up his jacket over and over and over for nights in a row. At the time, Jaden thought that Chan was trying to punish him for his bad attitude (related to an earlier scene involving Smith’s mother) and did not think Chan was teaching him anything about kung-fu.

As I recall, in the original movie, Mr. Miyagi had to ignore Daniel-san’s tendency to think he already knew what he was doing and to force Daniel to learn from the ground up, from scratch. He had to do this even when Daniel progressed to the level of punching with gloves and protective gear.

When it comes to working with an experienced personal coach on an individual basis, don’t worry about making sure the coach knows what you can already do. If he’s an experienced, competent coach, he will be able to figure out for himself pretty quickly how good you are. Master coaches and even some naturals can tell within a few minutes how good a guy is with women. And if he needs any further information, he will know the right questions to ask. You don’t have to offer any explanations. In fact, the guys who waste time continually telling the trainers how good they already are (or were) and relating lengthy stories that were unsolicited are usually guys whose attitudes make them unteachable.

Often, students have to spend an initial period UNLEARNING all the mish mash of jumbled misconceptions and misinterpretations before they can actually understand and apply the correct stuff.

So instead, approach the learning with an open mind, and leave your preconceived notions at the door. Try to do exactly as your trainer instructs you FIRST before you start trying to think of reasons why it won’t work or devising “what if” scenarios. Otherwise, you will just be wasting your and their time. Try out their suggestions first, and give them a fair try. Only then come back for reflection and refinement.

As Miyagi said, to Daniel: “We make sacred pact. I promise teach karate to you. You promise learn. I say. You do. No questions.”

2. Be Patient with Progress; the “Why” Will Become Clear over Time

Master teachers know that if the student’s mindset is just as, if not more, important than the technique. That’s why Chan didn’t tell Jaden why he had him throw down and hang up his jacket over and over, and why Mr. Miyagi did not first tell Daniel-san why he had him wax his car, paint his fence, and sand his floor.

When kids want to learn martial arts, it’s often because they want to know how to fight. But that’s not really what’s best for them in the long run. The bad teachers in The Karate Kid movies just give the kids what they want (partly because that’s what the instructors are after, too): violence and aggression. But the real masters know that true mastery of any skillful activity in life necessitates and generates a higher outlook and greater purpose.

In the social arts, a lot of guys start out just wanting to bed a lot of girls with perhaps a very distant long-term goal of settling down with one or many long-term relationships or a spouse. Their immediate focus is on getting more and more sex–same night lays, faster and faster seductions, models and bottles, orgies galore–and that’s what a lot of the PUA marketing sells them. But the true masters know that these short-term gratifications will never result in any kind of lasting happiness or even contentment.

But they also know that most students aren’t ready to understand this.

So instead of trying to persuade them, a good coach might mislead or keep the student guessing as to the exact reason or greater purpose behind the lesson, at least until the student is ready to understand.

Most guys don’t really understand just how important are Body Language, Tonality, Eye Contact, and Mental States. They are far more important than verbal material or lines. Students often don’t really understand why they have to spend over 80% of their time working on and monitoring their posture; the way they stand, sit, move, walk, chew, talk; how they look into other people’s eyes; and why they have to do Visualizations and Affirmations daily; and most importantly, that they should focus mainly only on 3 things when they’re socializing: Having Fun; Making Other People Have Fun; and Making Connections.

Instead, they keep thinking their problem is that they don’t know what to say. It’s like those guys who think their problem is they don’t know how to punch and keep wanting to learn how to punch.

Daniel: When do I learn how to punch?
Miyagi: Better learn balance. Balance is key. Balance good, karate good. Everything good. Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?

…

Daniel: [practicing blocks in Mr. Miyagi's boat] When am I gonna learn how to punch?
Miyagi: Learn how punch, after you learn how keep dry! [rocks boat, throwing Daniel into the water]

…

For instance, sometimes, what a guy most needs is to conquer his approach anxiety. But because of his crippling fear, he can’t tackle the problem head on by doing a ton of cold approaches. So instead, the coach tricks him into thinking he’s doing something else other than approaching–doing social freedom exercises like small talk with harmless strangers or doing crazy stunts on the street–and then eases the student into raising the bar to small talk with cute girls, bypassing the anxiety triggers.

This is the “boiling the frog” method.

3. The Social Arts are in Everything; Start with What You Naturally Do

Probably the most obvious parallel between The Karate Kid and debates in the social arts is in the natural vs. canned issue.

I doubt I need to explain this. It should be obvious.

The bad karate teacher is all about ruthless technique and using artificial means to toughen his kids up and brainwash them into being bad monsters.

Miyagi and Chan, however, teach their students using everyday actions–the sort of things they would naturally have to do as part of their daily activities–chores around the house and even just something as mundane as hanging up a jacket.

The deeper principle is in Jackie Chan’s line: “Everything is Kung Fu.” Or, “Kung Fu is in everything you do.”

Similarly, the social arts aren’t just for attracting women, though many guys only think of it in that narrowest of scopes–”pick up.” The social arts are involved any time you are interacting with another person. Practicing the social arts requires and develops social intelligence and emotional intelligence, which many researchers and experts consider to be far more accurate an indicator of life success than one’s IQ.

Almost all the skills involved in flirting with women are implicated and crossover in the skills required for socializing PERIOD. They are just adapted to a specific context. So actually, if you get good at and continue to improve at socializing in general–which is actually easier for most guys–and in many different and diverse contexts, you will concurrently progress in attracting women. As most PUAs often forget, women are people, too, LOL. Get good with people, and you will naturally get good with women.

Moreover, you will be doing so in a much more sustainable, healthy (read: non-creepy), and effective manner.

This bit of dialogue in the original movie sums it up nicely. Substitute “picking up girls” for “fighting” and “the social arts” for “karate,” and you get the idea:

Let “fighting”=”picking up girls”

Let “karate”=”The Social Arts”

Daniel: Hey - you ever get into fights when you were a kid?
Miyagi: Huh - plenty.
Daniel: Yeah, but it wasn’t like the problem I have, right?
Miyagi: Why? Fighting fighting. Same same.
Daniel: Yeah, but you knew karate.
Miyagi: Someone always know more.
Daniel: You mean there were times when you were scared to fight?
Miyagi: Always scare. Miyagi hate fighting.
Daniel: Yeah, but you like karate.
Miyagi: So?
Daniel: So, karate’s fighting. You train to fight.
Miyagi: That what you think?
Daniel: [pondering] No.
Miyagi: Then why train?
Daniel: [thinks] So I won’t have to fight.
Miyagi: [laughs] Miyagi have hope for you.

Thanks for reading along on my whimsical reflections! David have hope for you LOL  Feedback appreciated.

Cheers, Asian Rake David.

The original trailer:

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Check out this short clip of Smith’s acceptance speech at the Kid’s Choice Awards. His “two keys to life” are also the “two keys to mastering the social arts.” Simple, yet profound.

1. Running.

As Will Smith says, if you learn how to defeat that little voice when you’re running that says to you, “I’m so tired. It’s too hard. Give up. There’s no way I could possibly continue,” then you will learn how to persevere when things get hard in life. No wonder the clients who progressed the fastest (sometimes reaching their goals after just one or two days) were often also the ones who had excelled in fitness or athletics. Or, their biggest growth spurts in social arts closely correlated with big strides in physical fitness. They withstand the social pressure, defeat the approach anxiety, and persist in the face of setbacks and challenges.

2. Reading.

Considering the accumulated wisdom of all those people who have gone before us, it would be stupid to try to reinvent the wheel every time and not learn from them. There is really no new problem you can have. Nowadays, there are just variations. In the social arts, I am an avid learner. I used to think it was because I was an academic. But no. The clients who improve the quickest are the ones who know how to learn, whether that be from books, movies, audio or DVD programs, in-field observations, or from personal mentoring. They devour all the knowledge they can get their hands on and apply, test, experiment with it themselves in the real world. For some suggestions, see my articles on Required Readings and Excellent Movies for Modeling.

See also this classic collection of Will Smith clips.

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The proceeds went to One Singapore, which is dedicated to raising public awareness and taking concrete actions to make poverty history. It was a joy working with them and their broad-minded, fun-loving, and super sharp committee members, who made sure that everything went smoothly. If you are outside Singapore, you can also learn more about One Foundation International here.

Again, thank you to all who helped make this program and event a resounding success!

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