Singapore Dating Academy AURA’s Full-Page Feature Article in Singapore’s Highest Circulation Newspaper, The Straits Times
October 16, 2011
There was also a front-page blurb near the top of the cover saying, “DATING ACADEMIES: If love is a battlefield, here’s how some men train up.”
I’ve enlarged the scans so that the words are readable in this blog.
Overall, a balanced article, I only take issue with two points.
1. It says “Singapore’s newest men’s dating coach.” Hmm, I’ve been coaching longer than any one else in Singapore besides my friend Skilldo. I’ve been coaching since 2007 and coaching in Singapore since August 2008. I think they wrote that because they did an expose back in 2010 on a few of the local dating coaches, and I declined to be interviewed (because of pressure from my former employer–the naitonal university–to lay low), so maybe to The Straits Times, I’m “new,” haha.
2. Our classrooms are state-of-the-art with a stage, podium, projector screens, projectors, and a full sound system built into the walls. Ah, well, words like “large” and “small” are relative.
Overall, a fair article.
You can read the main body of this The Straits Times article, which was picked up by the Jakarta Globe, on Singapore Dating Academies here.
Singapore “Dating Coaches” and Aura Dating Academy: An Experience
August 16, 2011
* The following is a true story, which took place in Singapore *
A couple years ago, Michael Tan, a 27-year old Singaporean engineer realized he needed help with women. He had had girlfriends before—two of them—one during his JC years and another during his uni days. Neither of those girls were what he considered “ideal,” but anyway, they had dumped him. Now single for over two years and working in a small engineering firm, he had no idea how to meet new women outside his increasingly smaller social circle and no clue how to approach the attractive women he did see.
This post has been moved here: Click here to read more about Singapore’s Biggest and Best Dating Academy: AURA.
Inside the Players’ Lounge, Episode 1, Part 2: Dr. David Tian Interviews Starlight from Love Systems
August 11, 2011
Inside the Players’ Lounge is a series of interviews of top dating coaches and social artists who are Asian, are based in Asia, or have a deep interest in Asia and Asian women.
You can find Part 1 of the Inside the Players’ Lounge interview with Starlight here.
In Part 2 of the interview, some of the things you’ll learn include:
-Why men in Singapore may be at a distinct disadvantage in the global dating world and what to do about it to make you stand out in a great way from your peers.
-How the Asian emphasis on familial ties doesn’t have to get in the way of becoming your own independent man.
-How your body language can make a huge difference in Asian societies.
-Why you need to learn the importance of guanxi and face in attracting beautiful women in Asia.
-The proper mindset behind being assertive, even in conservative Asian societies.
-And much more
We welcome your feedback.
Enjoy!
Dating Skills Podcast Interviews Dr. Asian Rake David
August 9, 2011
I’m really excited to share with you this interview I did with the Managing Director of Dating Skills Review, Angel Donovan. I’ve known Angel from way back in 2005, when he was living in Shanghai and running the China Lair, which under his mature leadership, was a tight ship with plenty of helpful content and a non-competitive, positive, and supportive atmosphere. He was coaching even before 2003, and it’s always a joy to share thoughts with a guy who’s been researching dating and relationships even longer than I have and who has had lots of experience in China.
In this interview, you’ll learn:
- How differences in Asian cultures and communication change dating and attraction.
- Popularized Myth #1 - Chinese and Asian women “They’re easy”.
- Cultural differences that matter - how to sabotage your chances by ignoring ‘face’ and other social concepts.
- What emotional and sexual repression is and how it effects your perception of how much a girl likes you.
- Popularized Myth #2: Asians are all the same. The subtle differences between Chinese, Japanese, Korean and South East Asian women and culture.
- Advantageous social dynamics for Asian men in Asian countries and social groups.
- Examples of typical approaches to dating Western women that can backfire with Asian women and a mini case study of Western advice going wrong.
- How learning the subtleties of Asian culture, social dynamics and women can improve your dating skills with all types of women.
Interviews with Hot Girls: Nick Sparks Demonstrates Talkative Sexual Vibe
July 20, 2011
Been swamped with meeting, coaching, lecturing, video editing, writing, tons of overseas travel almost every weekend for the past couple months, and most recently a kick-ass bootcamp this past weekend that saw clients flying in from LA and around Southeast Asia just for the weekend. And what a weekend it was!
I’ve got lots of great content in store for you, so to tie you over until I finish editing everything, enjoy this third video of my buddy Nick Sparks interviewing a hot girl.
This time it’s Stephanie, a fashion model, budding entrepreneur, and super sweet girl. As usual, Nick barely knew her before the video started rolling.
Enjoy this demonstration of a talkative vibe that is also very sexual, in a way similar to Russell Brand.
Btw, if you’re in the USA, you should seriously consider taking a bootcamp with Nick Sparks, Christian Hudson, and the team at The Social Man. They walk the talk, 100%.
How to be Funny and Sexy at the Same Time: Nick Sparks Demonstrates with Rachel
July 3, 2011
Another installment from “Interviews with Cute Girls” from The Social Man’s Nick Sparks and Christian Hudson. As usual, Nick just met this woman. Nick is a great example of fun, talkative, but sexual vibe.
You can catch Rachel in various roles on TV and musical theater. She’s fun with a quick wit.
Watch, learn, and be entertained.
I highly recommend you take coaching with The Social Man if you’re in the US. They’re amazing value.
Play on,
David
What If You’re the Only Asian Guy in a Group of Good-Looking White Dudes?
June 28, 2011
Commenter Al had a great question that I’m sure many others also have, so I thought I’d just make it a post on it’s own.
Hey David,
I just enrolled in the Unbreakable program (from The Social Man). One thing I was thinking while watching the first video was that…both Christian and Nick are pretty good-looking white guys.
While I’m tall and decent looking myself, I can sense the lack of eye contact I receive compared to my other white friends. I know from your previous posts that I shouldn’t whine about my situation, but I’m just wondering what you think of this issue.
–Al
Hey Al,
I appreciate your question. Having been close friends with Christian since 2005 and Nick since 2008, I’ve had to deal with this exact issue! But this of course doesn’t only come up when I’m with them. It comes up whenever I’m with anyone who is attractive or successful. But it’s actually not a problem; it’s a blessing.
People associate you with what surrounds you.
I like having good-looking guys around me in my group or team (I say this from a completely hetero standpoint, ha). And the smartest girls know that they look even better when they are surrounded by women just as or more beautiful as them.
If your social value when you’re by yourself is a 9/10, and you’re hanging out with three of your computer geek friends who when by themselves would be a 3/10, then your nerd companions will bring your subjective social value down to a 4.5! Girls will write you off as just the best looking out of the computer nerds. Not so good.
The only time guys individually worse than you can make you look good is in successive comparisons (such as in a runway show where the models come down the runway one at a time). So if the girl keeps seeing loser guys in succession and then all of a sudden sees you, then you fare better by the comparison.
But if she sees you and the nerds at approximately the same time, maybe because you and your friends are all hanging at the same table, then she’ll unconsciously conclude that you’re a loser, too. Those guys will bring down your individual social value.
That’s one reason I try to surround myself with the most successful people I can (besides the fact that they also help me become more positive and successful, and that I just enjoy being around such people). I also like to have around me big, muscular guys (sometimes they look like my bodyguards, ha), hip fashion people, good looking people, and most of all, FUN people!
I discovered this for myself when I started teaching in universities, and I noticed that when bad students sat surrounding a smart student during class, my unconscious mind just started to label that smart student as a bad student, too. And then, I’d have to consciously exert effort to remind myself that, “Hey, that’s the kid who got an A on the last test. Let’s hear him out.”
However, when all the smart students clumped together in the classroom, it was easy to associate that part of the room as where I could go when I wanted good answers to my questions. If a bad student sat in their midst, I’d unconsciously label him as one of the smart students, too.
You’ve probably noticed this in yourself. Think about a Victoria’s Secret model standing alone.
Then, think about that same model surrounded by five ugly looking girls.
Then, think about the effect you get when you have a row of six Victoria’s Secret models together. The result compounds and increases the individual value of each member of the group.
I remember reading psychology research along similar lines but can’t recall them off the top of my head.
ASSOCIATIVE VALUE, CONTRAST PRINCIPLE, and SOCIAL POWER
So, back to your situation. You’ve got some good-looking white dudes that you roll with. Great! First, you get the compounded value from them.
Plus, you get the CONTRAST PRINCIPLE as the one who stands out as different (because you’re Asian). We deal with the CONTRAST PRINCIPLE in the soon to be released Power of Being Asian program.
Now, you can stand out in a bad way and in a good way. This is also the risk of dressing outrageously to get attention (what some pick up artists call, “Peacocking”). It can work for you or against you. Just by being the only Asian guy, your very race peacocks you!
Now use it to your advantage by being the LEADER of the group of white guys. It can happen even more effectively because your race makes you stand out from them.
Don’t think so much about your height or looks. Guys fixate on looks because that’s how we’re built. But we know from evolutionary psychology that women care much less about a man’s looks than they do about his power (often conventionally measured by wealth and social status, but most often unconsciously measured by the way other people react and respond to you).
Girls are MUCH more attracted to power than to looks. Compared to height, looks, or race, power is a far more important generator of attraction in females.
Be the most socially powerful man in the group of good looking guys, and you’ll be that much more irresistible.
Cheers, David
How to Talk to Girls and Turn Them on: Nick Sparks Demonstrates Talkative, Sexual Vibe
June 21, 2011
A while back, the man running The Social Man, Christian Hudson, had a great idea. From what he told me, he put out a Craigslist ad for girls who were willing to be interviewed for a dating site about their views on dating and men. Here is one of the results.
On the day of this video, Nick Sparks literally met this girl about five minutes before the camera started rolling. Despite the presence of the camera, the cameraman, the bright lights, and lack of incidental touch because of the separated chairs, Nick and Jennifer are kissing by the end of the 17th minute.
Very few guys are better exemplars of the Sexual Talkative Vibe than Nick Sparks. Maybe Russell Brand comes to mind. Check it out for yourself. There are more videos to come. Watch and learn 
If you are in North America, then I highly recommend you get coaching from Nick Sparks and Christian Hudson of The Social Man. I personally vouch for them. And for extra special treatment, tell them I sent you.
Best,
David
What to Think When You’re Approaching and Meeting New Women: The Attraction Mindset (video)
June 2, 2011
Want to get better with women but also avoid being one of those creepy pick up guys who brag about “pulling chicks” or getting numbers from girls at bars, bookstores, or city streets? Then you should cultivate the simple and easy ATTRACTION MINDSET.
As usual, the video is only very lightly edited.
Credit to Sebastian Drake for giving me the correct focus many years ago.
The Attraction Mindset:
1. Have Fun
2. Make Others Have Fun
3. Make Connections and See If People Meet Your Standards
These 3 points should take up at least 90% of your mental processes when you’re out to meet new people. For more on this idea, check out my post on Outcome Independence and How to Have Fun.
How to Speak Better and Get the Girl
March 28, 2011
My latest article on Amped Asia. You can see it on their site here. I reference some videos and have added a couple of the clips below for your convenience. If the words in the jpgs below are too small, you can right-click the image and enlarge it separately.
How to Improve Your Verbal Skills to Help Your Dating Life
Question from fan Brian: “How do you improve your verbal skills? Some people are just not as gifted with their words as others, especially for us Asian guys who grew up speaking an Asian language at home.”
[Edit: The youtube clip from Eyes Wide Shut just got blocked by Warner. Go figure. That clip was great as there was also some great alpha male body language and movement by Cruise (being more like his natural self) in the 3rd minute of this clip, which gradually disappears as the rest of the long movie progresses and Cruise's character loses self-confidence. Let me know if you find a new clip of the same part of the movie.]
So there you have it. Speak slower. Diversify your vocabulary. And free your mind to be in the moment without self-censoring.
As usual, if you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to write to me at: david “at” asianrake.com
Cheers,
David
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