The Power of Being Asian and John Tan
July 16, 2010
I’ve recently bequeathed my other site, Power of Being Asian, to my friend, former client, and one of my best students ever, John Tan. As I’ve been out of the industry for some time now, I haven’t been doing much with that site. He will be offering a lot of value there in the coming weeks, I’m sure.
Cheers, David.
Interview with Amped Asia
August 5, 2009
Here’s the link to an interview I did a while back with Amped Asia, a prominent Asian-American pop culture website. Enjoy!
My Real Claim to Fame
July 27, 2009
Here’s my final column for the time being in Singapore’s second-highest circulation paper, The New Paper. I gotta say, I’m disappointed by the headline (”My many intimate dates didn’t lead to happiness”), which gives the piece a negative tone overall. Here’s a link to the article in their online edition.
Below is the original, full version of the article, with the parts that were left out of the published version in bold print.
The Real Claim to Fame
This will be my last column for a while. Ongoing writing projects have been piling up calling for my undivided attention, so I’m taking an indefinite leave of absence from contributing in this space.
Perhaps the biggest lesson I’ve learned in my journey of personal development has been the importance of thinking big and that it is never too late to pursue your dreams.
A few years ago, I was frustrated with my social life. I had been the social misfit and had never mastered those social skills that all the cool people in high school and college just seemed to know instinctively.
I embarked on a period of experimentation and learning to gain the experience and knowledge I missed out on. This involved initiating social interactions with thousands of interesting people, many of whom became my new friends.
I learned a lot about how beautiful women think and feel and about social dynamics overall. And I have endeavored to pass to others the lessons I learned.
Even more, I discovered a great deal of profound insights about myself and made some major and lasting transformations.
I learned that the most significant element in interacting with people is to be your authentic and best self. Be honest about who you are—your limitations and your strengths. As long as you are striving to improve yourself, never be ashamed. I learned that society often tries to impose its own arbitrary social norms, but that a real man determines his own reality.
It’s Never Too Late to Change
I took a stand on the things about myself that I’ve wanted to change for decades but never followed through with. At the ripe old age of 30, I got into the best shape of my life. I also took up new hobbies and learned new skills that I had wanted to pursue for many years but kept putting off. In other words, I stopped making excuses for myself and my social predicament, took responsibility for my own life, and got those parts of my life handled. I started to become my ideal self. And I have never before been happier.
Most of all, I concluded that while intimate encounters with many women may bring a lot of pleasure, it doesn’t lead to sustained happiness. So since 2008, I have instead chosen to have meaningful, long-term relationships.
Early on, during that time of social experimentation, I went on a string of intimate encounters lasting a couple of months. I had mentioned this to the reporter writing the original feature article on me that was published almost a year ago in The New Paper. But somehow the headline misleadingly proclaimed that this was my “claim to fame.”
Actually, in the international attraction industry, which does a brisk business every year in the tens of millions of US dollars, very few people even knew about that statistic. If anything, my real “claim to fame” is various innovations and advancements in a natural, direct style of interacting with women, which I have come to call, Genuine Game. It is predicated on getting yourself into the right place emotionally and mentally, and then expressing yourself honestly and with humor. For more on this, see the articles on my website.
What credentials do I have for coaching others in the social arts? The world of social coaching is unusual in that there is no governing body or set of verifiable standards. A lot of people masquerade as dating coaches. For me, usually, men start by hearing my story and identifying with it. They then read my articles and get my Dating 101 audio course. Then they derive tremendous help from them, so they know that my advice works. If they need feedback that’s more personalized, they’ll get in touch with me, and as I get to know them, I tell them exactly what I can and can’t do to help them.
While I lament the deceptive headline, I do not mean to imply that I think there is anything morally objectionable to casual encounters between mutually consenting adults, or that I have any major regrets about my past. Every man should at least have the freedom to sow his wild oats before settling down, should he choose to do so.
Those experiences contributed to make me the man I am today. Though it took me until my early thirties to figure things out socially and catch up in my facility in social dynamics, it is never too late to realize one’s dreams. Without those experiences, I would likely never have learned enough about women and myself or matured enough emotionally to approach and attract my later long-term girlfriends, who have enriched my life deeply.
While I let slip away much of my social life in high school, college, and my twenties, I now have a whole range of life opportunities open to me that I could have only dreamt of a mere five years ago.
It is never too late to become whoever you want to be.
Although I am on a writing sabbatical, you can still keep in touch with me by signing up for my mailing list, which you can find on the top right-hand corner of my website. Subscribers will get free excerpts of my forthcoming book as they become available. But sign up now as I will be closing the list to new subscribers in the very near future.
I owe a big thanks to the many loyal and supportive fans of this Dr. Date column. See you on the other side!
Dear Dr. Date,
What’s the best way to get a girl’s number?
Yours, Jerky Jeff
Dear Jeff,
This is the wrong question.
What you should really ask is, “How do I get a girl attracted to me?”
If a girl is attracted to you, it is quite easy to get her number. She may even ask you for yours first.
If she is not attracted to you, then it won’t matter how you ask, then the number doesn’t matter. If she gives you a number at all, either she will give you a fake number, or she won’t pick up or return your calls.
So how do you get a girl attracted to you? For more on this, check out the articles on my website and get a hold of the Dating 101 audio course. Let’s keep in touch, Jerky Jeff!
KEVJUMBA: Some Comic Relief
April 28, 2009
This guy is hilarious. And he actually gets his message across, too. LOL
Check out his website.
Writing Sabbatical and Hiatus from Personal Coaching
April 16, 2009
‘Tis the season to be writing!
For almost a year now, I’ve had a couple of really important writing projects on the backburner, and it is about time that I got my priorities straight and finished them. The solitary, writing mode does not mix well with the outgoing, social mode.
So, I’m taking a sabbatical from extensive blog writing and personal coaching for a while to finish these books and other projects. I’m really psyched about this! The summer will also see me traveling a lot for research and writing, and it’s just gonna be awesome.
I’ve already pulled back from leading bootcamps and other such programs for some time now, a decision that I’ve been quite happy about, so this has been a gradual transition for me.
I’ll still be updating the blog in the meantime, so check back.
I’m also still happy to field your questions privately over email, so feel free to continue contacting me at asianrake “at” asianrake.com
Play on, The Asian Rake.
New York City with Christian, Nick, and Miss Model Behavior
January 5, 2009
I had the great pleasure of spending part of my holiday travels in New York City visiting my sister, and some good friends, including Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks over at The Social Man. As usual, we had a riot of a time. I helped out a bit with the seminar portion of their weekend bootcamp, and I dropped in on one night of their in-field, which was a lot of fun, as usual.
I also had the opportunity to hang out with Miss Model Behavior, who won me over a while back with her hilariously insightful post on promoters, nomoters, and fromoters. Her blog’s latest incarnation is a team-authored blog on life in NYC. I’ve linked her contributions on dating and relationships in my blogroll. Go check it out! Her delightful posts on such subjects as being friends with the ex, SMS relationships, and the intricacies of the intense NYC club scene, are not only thought-provoking but also charming and entertaining. I love showcasing the female perspective on dating, seduction, and relationships. MMB is as articulate and pretty in person as her writing suggests.
Play on, The Asian Rake.
Feature article in the Shin Ming Daily News
December 25, 2008
Here’s wishing you and your loved ones a very merry Christmas!
A while back, the Shin Ming Daily News, the most respected Chinese newspaper in Singapore, ran a feature on me. They used that “30 girls in 2 months” headline, which I totally detest, but I guess that’s what grabs people’s attention. Ironic.
So for you Chinese readers, here it is:
Being Back Home
December 11, 2008
Ah, despite the subzero temperatures and snowy conditions, it is soo good to be back home in the Great White North. Gearing up now for short trips to Michigan, NYC, and Hong Kong on the way back to Singapore.
It’s especially nice to be back in a land of tolerance and acceptance, especially regarding forms of sexual expression and different kinds of lifestyles and relationships. A nice change from Singapore society.
Just started exploring the Japan Lair, which seems to have a surprising number of experienced and mature posters, and found it a healthy and refreshing alternative to the schizophrenia and navel-gazing of some local lairs. Ganbatte!
Btw, Lance of Honey and Lance was generous enough to mention me in his Thought Leaders post. Their blog is one of the best resources out there combining perspectives from both genders, presenting a well-balanced perspective on the “community,” and highlighting controversial viewpoints from diverse approaches to the social arts. Keep it up, guys!
I’ve also been recommending to a lot of people the interview series by Nick Sparks in which Nick talks to cute girls. Here’s an example of one in which he ends up making out with this girl that he had only met about 10 minutes prior to the filming. This is high energy vibing (in a low energy environment no less) at its best.
Upgrades and Airport Club Lounges
September 28, 2008
So my flight’s delayed. I have a bit of time to spare now. That’s as good an excuse as any to write two entries in one day.
The cutie behind the counter at the Beijing International Airport got me an upgrade. And I didn’t even have to use an upgrade voucher. The social arts pay off once again!
Now I’m in the elite lounge. So far, the best lounges I’ve been in are the ones at the Hong Kong Airport, specifically the United Red Carpet Lounge. They had the best wine, beer, and liquor selection 
Air Canada’s international lounge at Toronto’s Pearson isn’t too bad either.
Now to make some last minute phone calls…
Peace and love, The Asian Rake.
Singapore Pick Up Weirdo and Lairs…
September 14, 2008
I guess when you stand up, you’ll get noticed, and others will try to chop you down.
For those who don’t know, there are online forums of random guys who share tips and thoughts on getting better with women.
These forums are called “lairs.” There are at least three lairs in Singapore alone. These lairs organize meetings for these guys to meet other aspiring “pickup artists.”
My experience with lairs in several different countries has been largely disappointing. Over 90% of the lair members are downright creepy and have major psychological issues. Pickup weirdos.
This past weekend, I got sucker-punched by a new pickup weirdo who introduced himself to me outside a club. He was with a big gang of lair guys, a few of whom I know and count as friends.
When a friend introduces me to another guy, I’ll treat the guy like a friend. I’m friendly. I let my guard down. I let you into my circle. I’ll even introduce you to my girls.
The last thing you should do is to try to AMOG me (trying to assert your alpha-ness and social authority) in front of one of my girls.
Even while it’s happening, I give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this is just the way you are. Maybe you’re new to the scene. Maybe you don’t know that you’re stepping on toes. Maybe you’re incredibly insecure and need to pee on the tree to feel like a man. So I throw you a bone.
But no. The air of superiority, and the naked assertion of ego is unmistakeable.
So you win the little AMOG battle. You pump up my girl’s buying temperature. She gets giddy, subconsciously feeling that two men are fighting over her. I learned something very important about this girl.
But more significantly, that pickup weirdo just lost a potential friend… for now, anyway.
Choose your battles wisely. Especially when there isn’t even a war.
Peace and love, The Asian Rake.
-
__________________________
