In a poignant scene of the Martin Scorsese film, Hugo, the main character–an orphaned boy–remarked that he wanted to do something, to which the female lead–his “love” interest–replied, “No, it’s too dangerous. We could get into trouble.”
To this the heroic boy replied, “That’s how we know it’s an adventure!”
To have an adventure, to truly be a sexual male, occasionally you have to take some risks. Sometimes, this necessitates breaking arbitrary rules. I’m not suggesting you rob a bank or anything,, just that you break out of your little comfort zone and have some fun.
To read the Introduction of the Manifesto, click here.
You may be like me and grew up learning the Chinese word guai. This is often translated as “well-behaved,” but it means more than that. A guai child will automatically and naturally make extra effort and go the extra mile to show his respect for the rules, to his seniors, and to whatever social hierarchy is imposed upon him.
This often results in a lot of Asian boys growing up to be sheltered momma’s boys who have played it safe all through their childhood and youth. My parents were loving and caring and wanted the best for me. But to them, that meant sheltering me, protecting me from taking risks or making mistakes. They were well intentioned but ultimately, it stunted my social growth. They weren’t alone in this either, as many of my Chinese Canadian friends also led similarly sheltered teenage lives.
For just one example of my sheltered youth, consider that I wasn’t allowed to ride on the Toronto subway system (MRT) until I was 16 years old. I was taught that it was a risky place and that I had to be extra cautious there. I think my parents had seen too many TV shows and movies depicting New York’s old subway system. Recall that back in those days, Toronto was known as, “Toronto the Good,” for its extraordinarily low crime rate. And the relatively small subway system was squeaky clean.
You can imagine the ribbing I got from my non-Asian friends when they found out how nervous, worried, and scared I was of riding the subway by myself in the middle of the afternoon…at 16 years old. I still remember the first time I rode the subway by myself to meet friends at the amusement park. I quadruple-checked that I was on the right platform, going in the right direction, and I was very wary of anyone around me. I looked anxiously at the station names as each station went by one by one. Luckily, I didn’t have to make any transfers or that would have been the end of me, LOL. By the time I finally made it out of the station exit, I was so relieved, I felt like shouting triumphantly… Yeah, it was pretty pathetic.
And it gets worse. Throughout my high school years, I had a curfew of 6 PM when my non-Asian peers were generally allowed to stay out until 9 or 10 PM. If I wanted to go out after 6 PM with friends, I would have to fill out a one-page permission form and get my parents to sign it at least one day in advance, and then I had to submit it to my parents for their record… I could go on. If you were raised in a strict, overachieving Asian environment, I’m guessing you could too.
As I grew up, a critical lesson I had to learn was that I needed to become more adventurous, to be ready to take more risks, to practice putting it all on the line. Women want a man who is willing and able to take risks for the good of her and her offspring. Sensing that you are brave enough to conquer your fears and take calculated risks is a major turn-on for her.
Now, let me say one thing here, just in case you end up going overboard with this advice. This is not a license to run amok or to endanger the well being of others. I’m not telling you to mimic the dangerous stunts in movies like Jackass. Do not take mindless, stupid risks. I’m not saying that you should be that obnoxious drunk guy, having his offensive fun at the expense of others. Taking dangerous risks for little reward is not smart. I’m not suggesting that you jump onto the top of a moving train like James Bond, or leap from one rooftop to the next in New York City like some sort of Spiderman. Adventurous does not mean stupid. It means that you are willing to take some risks when the potential reward outweighs the potential danger. Have fun and take risks, yes. But make sure other people are having fun, too, and are not harmed in the process.
Being more adventurous doesn’t just get you more women, it will also make you happier in the long run. Surveys of elderly people asking them what they wished they had done differently in life almost invariably found this thought at the top of the list: “I wish I had taken more chances.”
You need to just take the plunge and live life to the fullest. This means taking some chances. You can get started right away by taking twenty minutes to brainstorm everything you want to do or experience before you die. The trick is to really set aside the twenty minutes. Use a timer. And then don’t stop writing. If you’re like me, the last five or ten minutes will be hard. You’ve probably run out of things to write. But keep at it. Just keep brainstorming and writing things down. At the end of the exercise, you’ll be surprised at how much more living you could do and how many more life adventures you can look forward to.