“Hello, Social Retards!”
April 28, 2011
This is my recent article in Singapore’s I-S Magazine. The next article will be in the new issue hitting the newsstands this Friday. Get yours before they run out!
“Hello, Social Retards!”
David Tian, Ph.D
Last weekend, I was partying at a local mega-club, which I like because there are relatively few social retards there. I was joined by a big group―over a dozen fun guys, a few Singapore Airlines stewardesses, and a couple of fashion models.
One of our guy friends, Ken, was trying out a “new look,” which included a bling-bling belt buckle so shiny I needed sunglasses to look at it.
He wanted the opinion of the average girl on the street. He spotted a group of three below-average-looking girls standing on their own in the middle of the bar area next to us.
So with a big smile, Ken turned to them. But as he started his sentence, one girl immediately…
To read the rest of this article on dating in Singapore, click here.
Why “Dinner & a Movie” Make a Horrible First Date
April 21, 2011
My most recent article in I-S Magazine, Singapore. The next article hits newsstands on Friday! Go get yours!
Why ‘Dinner and a Movie’ Make a Horrible First Date
Dr. David Tian
If it’s the first date, forget the over-done “dinner and a movie” idea.
Last week, a female friend told me about an awesomely awkward first date she just had. He took her to an incredibly formal, expensive dining establishment. The conversation was as stilted as the surroundings. She barely knew the guy, so she wondered, “Why is he spending so much on the first date? Is he expecting me to ‘put out’? Why is he trying to impress me? What’s he trying to compensate for?” After an hour of dinner came the movie. When they emerged from the dark theater, they looked at each other and realized despite spending two hours in the dark together, they were still relative strangers.
And then he said, “Well I gotta go now… unless you want to have a sleep over…” She was appalled.
Don’t get me wrong. There are worse first date ideas.
But dinners are bad on the first date for at last two reasons.
To read the rest of this article on dating in Singapore, click here.
The Girls Who Look Easy Are Often the Toughest of All
April 13, 2011
This is my article in I-S Magazine from a couple weeks ago.
My latest article is in the current issue, which hits newsstands all over town every Friday. Go check it out!
To read the whole article, click here!
Are Singapore Bachelors All Mama’s Boys?
April 10, 2011
My latest article in I-S Magazine!
Are Singapore Bachelors All Mama’s Boys?
David Tian, Ph.D.
‘I can’t take a girl home after the date; I live with my parents. They wouldn’t approve,’ explained a 31 year-old Singapore bachelor. I nodded in understanding. So where has he been trying to take his dates? The uber-romantic Hotel 81. He has had very few second dates.
‘My girlfriend calls me a “mama’s boy” just because I’m 33, live at home, eat mom’s cooking, and have my mom do my laundry. But what can I do? That’s just the way it is in Singapore,’ griped an acquaintance. The girlfriend dumped him a few weeks later. Now she’s seeing other men while he spends evenings at home… with mom.
A 35 year-old client―let’s call him Ted―owns a Porsche, a BMW, and two condo apartments, but still lives at home with mom. Before dumping him, his ex-girlfriend complained he was a ‘momma’s boy.’
The adult bachelor who still lives with mom―the butt of many sitcom jokes―seems the norm here in the Lion City partly because of entrenched social norms and financial disincentives to purchasing public housing.
The government wonders why couples are marrying less and having kids later in life. Could it be that living with the parents until you’re 35 can put a real damper on your love life?
The main problem isn’t that hundreds of thousands of adult males in Singapore live in a bedroom next to their parents. It’s good to cherish family and take care of your parents.
But in Singapore, it seems mainly the other way around: Adult males taking it easy and staying in their comfort zones.
If you’ve never lived on your own for an extended period, it’s hard to become the type of man a woman can look up to: Independent and self-sufficient, a grown man who takes responsibility for himself and runs his own life.
Moving out is not for everyone, though. Here are some reasonable excuses for an adult male to live with the parents:
(1) You want to stay celibate for life.
(2) You plan to have an arranged marriage.
(3) You don’t have a full-time job and can’t afford rent.
I can understand the financial difficulties. Sometimes you’re in between jobs or are a recent graduate, and to save expenses, you stay with mom. In that case, find a good job, work hard, and save up enough to move out.
If you don’t have enough to rent a pad on your own, do what college kids in the West do: Get roommates and share the rent. Three bachelors can rent a 4-room HDB flat, turn it into a pimp party pad, and pay less than $900 each. If your salary is more than $3000 a month, you should be able to swing this, and it will supercharge your love life a lot more than buying an overpriced car.
So grow up and move out. Your government and parents will thank you when you give them grandkids earlier than expected.
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