How to be Politely Assertive: Trudeau and Cruise
February 19, 2011
A common question I get from Singaporean clients is how they can be assertive without being assholes. It’s as if they never had any role-models to show them how to be assertive in a civil manner.
They’ve only seen the two extremes of (1) being a passive, pushover who gets taken advantage of and shoved around, or (2) of being an arrogant asshole (usually getting his courage from being inebriated) pushing people around and a public nuisance.
They ask me what they should do when another guy cuts ahead of them in the queue. The only two options they can think of are (1) muttering under their breath, letting the resentment build up (often taking it out on others later or when they’ve got enough liquid courage) but getting taking advantage of, or (2) starting a shouting match and fist fight.
I’ve seen this as the norm in Confucianized countries like Taiwan, Korea, and sometimes in mainland China. This is a major reason why there are so many fights in nightclubs by drunken Asian dudes. They don’t have any “game” or even social intelligence and just keep all that resentment from being pushed around silently building up inside them until it explodes in out-of-control violence.
Well, there’s another way: Polite Assertiveness. Heck, why not first try to undercut your assertiveness with smiles and gentle reasoning to defuse the situation even further.
A key affirmation of every powerful man is: I do not tolerate disrespect of myself, time, or property. For most men, I would also add family and loved ones to that list.
So it’s important that you know how to assert yourself properly when you encounter disrespect.
The following are two exemplars to give you an idea of how this is done.
1. The first is Pierre Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada from 1968-79, 1980-84. In this clip, he’s handling very rude questions from a very hostile reporter about his decision to invoke the War Measures Act, which gave the government sweeping powers of arrest and detention without trial, in the face of the kidnappings of two public officials by domestic terrorists (known as the October Crisis).
Notice how Trudeau starts with good-natured responses and plenty of smiling, like a granddad explaining to his grandson how the big bad world works. He never loses his cool, even all the way to the end with his famous, “Just watch me.”
Btw, Trudeau was very good with the ladies and makes for an awesome all-around high-value role-model.
2. The next example is a Neil Strauss favorite, Tom Cruise, “the alpha male of alpha males.” Here he firmly but patiently deals with a rude journalist who squirts water in his face. Notice his initial reaction is to laugh it off and just chat with the guy. He also turns away the attempts of the staff to protect him and even wipes his own face. Notice, too, how he gently holds down the reporter’s hand. Cruise is reportedly a very physical expressive guy. He is calm enough at the end to smile and direct his comments at the people nearby.
Both men show plenty of self-control under the circumstances.
Play on,
David
Japanese Babe in Singapore in Orchard Road Restaurant: Client Report (LR)
February 10, 2011
This unusual report comes from a Platinum Program client in Singapore. We had been working together for a few months by this point, and he had already gotten great results, having hooked up with several women and holding open relationships with three of them. He had also spent wild weekends in Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur really pushing his edge, doing crazy openers and seeing how fast he could escalate. The considerable experience he garnered during those few months really shows itself here.
As usual, we got permission from the girl to post this version of the report. Some identifying details have been altered for privacy. Note: The pics were chosen and sent to me by the client. In case it’s not obvious, these are not photos of the real women involved (otherwise, there wouldn’t be much point in trying to protect their privacy, would there?). And just for future reference, unless stated otherwise, none of the photos on this site are of the actual women involved in the reports. This policy is to protect their privacy.
Also, as usual, I took the liberty of editing for style and grammar.
I trust that you’ll learn some things from this one 
Enjoy!
Japanese Babe in Singapore in Orchard Road Restaurant: Client Report (LR)
I think I could only have pulled this off after having had lots of experience pushing the edge of my comfort zone. It’s just like Doc Rake (Asian Rake David) used to shout at me when I was starting out, “This is supposed to feel uncomfortable! You’re not supposed to know exactly what to do or what’s going to happen! That’s how you know you’re outside your comfort zone, dude.”
I’m really glad I got to meet this girl, as she’s stayed a good friend ever since.
Keys to the Bedroom:
-Novel approach to the contact close
-Patient persistence
-Changing strategies when usual plan wasn’t working
-Using jealousy
On a Friday evening, I was having dinner with one of my buddies at a pizza restaurant on Orchard Road. We had just gotten seated and placed our orders.
Then I spotted her: a gorgeous girl with a glowing complexion and skin, alluring eyes, and long, black hair. She looked Japanese. She was sitting in a booth with another girl friend next to her and two guys across from them. They weren’t acting like couples.
But this was a sit-down family restaurant. Not exactly the kind of place that you can do a lot of approaches. Read more
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