Fellow Asian Dating Expert Gives Talks at Harvard, Yale, Penn, NYU, Wellesley, and Rutgers University
May 27, 2009
I had a chat with William, who runs the Better Asian Man website, last time I was in Manhattan. He first came to my attention through Lance at Amped Asia. While I don’t completely agree with his take on Asian culture, I think he is advancing the cause of what he calls “self-actualization” for Asian-American men.
I’ve found that some Singaporeans don’t understand the plight of the Asian (North) American man and sometimes can’t place my own background in context. William does a good job of contextualizing it.
His site has a weekly “phone-in” podcast, something I wish I had the time to do. Check out his site here.
The New York Times on Singapore Girls and Boys and Their Dating Woes
May 27, 2009
Hmm, interesting… I actually know Suki. As far as I know, these classes are still being offered at polytechnic universities.
They had assembled for the first class of “Love Relations for Life: A Journey of Romance, Love and Sexuality.”
There was giggling and banter among the students, but that was all part of the course as their teacher, Suki Tong, led them into the basics of dating, falling in love and staying together.
The courses are an extension of government matchmaking programs that try to address the twin challenges embodied in a falling birthrate: too few people are having babies, and too few of those who are belong to what Singapore considers the genetically desirable educated elite.
Over the past 25 years, the mating rituals organized by the government — tea dances, wine tastings, cooking classes, cruises, screenings of romantic movies — have been among the country’s least successful social engineering programs.
…
In 1991, for example, when the government began offering cash bonuses to couples with more than two children, the newspaper printed tips for having sex in the back seat of a car, including directions to some of the “darkest, most secluded and most romantic spots” for parking.
It suggested covering the windows with newspapers for privacy.
Singapore is known for its campaigns of self-improvement, including efforts to get residents to be polite, to smile, to be tidy, to speak proper English and to not chew gum.
In 1984, the country’s master planner, Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew, declared that too few of the country’s most eligible women, those with college degrees, were marrying and having children. He set up the Social Development Unit to address the problem, and since then the government has been the country’s principal matchmaker.
In addition to its tea dances and moonlight cruises, the agency acts as a lonely hearts adviser, with an online counselor named Dr. Love and a menu of boy-meets-girl suggestions on its Web site, www.lovebyte.org.sg.
“Guys, girls notice everything!” the Web site offers in one of its dating tips. “Comb your hair differently and they notice. Change your watch and they notice! Skipped your morning shower and sprayed on deodorant to cover the smell — they notice! What does this mean? Well, bathe regularly, change something about yourself, be observant, and compliment the lady.”
Dating tips from a government-supported agency… Hmm…
How to Peacock Properly
May 22, 2009
Rather than geeking out in four-inch pumps, top hats, and ski goggles to the club, stand out in a GOOD way by emulating cutting-edge runway fashions. This works best if you’ve got a sophisticated identity to match. Men Style has an amazing resource in their Power Search page. You can search by season, designer, and trend. Check it out here.
Coaching Clarification
May 19, 2009
I’ve still been getting requests for personal coaching, so here’s an announcement to clarify things. I appreciate your interest and laud your desire for self-improvement. However, I’m taking a writing sabbatical, so I’m currently turning away requests for personal coaching of any kind.
Furthermore, this will apply as long as I’m still holding my current full-time day job. I haven’t been conducting any consulting work for money since last November, and I would like to keep it that way.
Cheers!
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