Should Girls Be Hard to Get?

The right reply really depends on what a girl is looking for.

Are you looking for a fun fling for a night or two? If so, then dress sexy. Go to a bar by yourself. And then smile flirtatiously and persistently at your prey. Make it as easy as possible for your target.

He may not respect you in the morning, but he will be perfectly willing to have fun with you that night. As a woman, catching a man for a quick fling can be that simple.

You need pluck

Men, however, generally have it much harder in the initial stages. In most cases, getting the girl requires skill and a lot of pluck.

For women, the tougher tasks are catching a man for a long-term relationship, such as a marriage, as well as keeping a man interested and passionate over the long haul.

First, a girl should never pretend to be something she isn’t. If she truly believes that she is valuable and worthy of a man’s time and effort, then she should behave accordingly and not cave in to society’s arbitrary social norms.

If a girl has high self-esteem, then she won’t be ‘playing’ hard to get - she will naturally ‘be’ hard to get. The alternative is to be easy to get. And no self-respecting girl will be ‘easy’.

Moreover, if you’re a girl who’s looking for a masculine man, a man who is confident, who is willing and able to protect his loved ones, and who has purpose and drive, then you will want to challenge him.

Masculine men respond to challenges. They know that only by meeting and overcoming obstacles will they truly grow. They know that a strong woman will not let them get away with weakness and that a good couple will help one another to become more mature.

Most guys are not mature enough to handle such women. Worse yet, some guys are not even ready to admit that they need to grow up, to stop being mama’s boys and start being real men.

I understand where they’re coming from, as I was like that just a few years ago. Unfortunately, the women of Singapore do not have the luxury of waiting around for guys to grow up.

These guys will not relish the advice in this column. They may even resent me for making it harder for them to get girls and handle them.

Smart women looking to snag a strong man will use the principle of compliance, researched thoroughly in the field of social psychology, to their advantage. They will make their men invest time and effort to court them.

If you do this, you can rest assured that your boyfriend or husband will treat you like a queen, even when he’s angry. Why? Because he spent so much time and effort trying to catch and keep you. He won’t take you for granted because you have become so precious to him.

By the way, men, you too can harness the power of compliance. You can learn all about this on my audio course, Dating 101, available on my website.

For the women, keep an eye on this column for more advice on how to be hard to get, and how to catch and keep Mr Right.