How Not to be the Creepy Pick Up Guy: Talk to Everyone, Not Just to Cute Girls
March 23, 2009
The latest column, influenced by Fein and Schneider.
| The Electric New Paper : | |
| Dr Date | |
| Be ladylike, let the man open your door | |
| IN a previous article, you learned about how to look like a 10 through exercise, diet, and upgrading your fashion, hair, and make-up. | |
|
|
| 23 March 2009 | |
| IN a previous article, you learned about how to look like a 10 through exercise, diet, and upgrading your fashion, hair, and make-up.
Now we’re going to move into body language, which has been shown through extensive studies to account for over half of a person’s likeability. If you are looking for a masculine man, then you will want to seem like a feminine woman. Masculine men are purposeful, confident, driven, living life with integrity and humour, men who aren’t mama’s boys or looking for surrogate big sisters. Masculine men are attracted to the feminine. Even if you are an ambitious professional, a career woman, or the head of your own company, when you are with a man that you like, be feminine. Don’t act like a man. Don’t tell sarcastic jokes at others’ expense. Don’t be the loud girl or the hysterically funny girl. Don’t be cynical or negative or tell long-winded stories about how someone has hurt you. Don’t make your love interest into your therapist. It’s fine to be this way when you’re with just your girlfriends. But when you’re with men you like, act feminine. Be mysterious, quiet, and deeply happy. Act ladylike. Cross your legs. Let him open the door. Say thank you and please. Smile. Entice with your best assets, perhaps with a tight top cut a little lower than you’re used to, or sheer, black pantyhose exposed by your miniskirt. Perhaps some girls will feel offended that what we’re proposing here suppresses their intellectual side or gregarious personality. They may feel that they can’t be themselves. Well, they can continue to ‘be themselves’ if they are already content with their love lives. But if in the area of love and romance, you still haven’t found happiness, then resolve to change. To paraphrase motivational guru Tony Robbins, if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. So make a change, and follow my advice. Men will love you for it! Showing off your intelligence and hilarious personality can come a little later, after a man has already become attracted to you and is not thinking of you as just a friend or acquaintance. Get out there! Be present. If you rarely meet men accidentally, then show up at all the events your friends have been inviting you to. Sometimes you may feel like you have to drag yourself there, but do it. Go to the many singles events popping up all over town. Remember that you don’t need to find large groups of eligible men. You only need to find one. You may not find your dream guy immediately. The time may just not be right yet. Be patient. He’s out there. The time will come. Learn more about dating expert Dr Date at his website: www.powerof being asian.com Dear Dr Date, I try to follow your advice when I’m out in Clarke Quay with my friends. Amazingly, the things you teach really work. Even my friends have noticed how much more social I am now. But some of my friends, who are all guys, tell me I shouldn’t be seen talking to lots of girls. What can I do? Sincerely, Gerald Dear Gerald, Your guy friends are telling us more about their own insecurities and fears than about what the girls think. However, they may be right about one thing. If you are doing what I’ve been recommending, then you are acting like the social man. You are talking to lots of people. Period. This includes guys and girls. If you are ignoring all the guys and only making a beeline to every cute girl you see, then you are probably sending the wrong message. You want to seem as if you like meeting new and interesting people, regardless of their gender. Remember this, though. If you strike up a conversation with a girl, it is a compliment to her. You should not think that you are taking anything from her. Instead, you are trying to give her something - the pleasure of good conversation with a friendly person and the chance to meet a really fun and interesting guy. |
|
Copyright © 2005 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.
Privacy Statement and Conditions of Access |
Related Posts
Comments
3 Responses to “How Not to be the Creepy Pick Up Guy: Talk to Everyone, Not Just to Cute Girls”
Got something to say?
|
|
-
__________________________
while i do enjoy the company of women who are feminant, i also enjoy the company of fun / charismatic / outgoing females who may come off as “loud”
Thank you for making guys like me live a life of living hell. Making games out of dating instead of just finding someone to be in love with. If I see a girl crossing her legs and acting ‘mysterious’ I think she’s not interested. Since most girls do this I’ve never been able to date. I’m 23 now. I go to bars and clubs, but girls just want nothing to do with me. I’ll try to talk to ‘em, but they’ll just ignore me, or use the bull “I have a bf” excuse.
You say “Act unintersted” to the women, and say “act interesting” to men. What’s interesting? I’m an accountant at a Big 4 firm. I’m not James Bond. I don’t parachute off buildings to steal information. I just hope my clients give me the proper information.
Whether they’re genuinely not interested (older colleagues I work with tell me I’m very attractive) or because of stupid dating advice like this telling women to act uninterested no women has once actually tried to talk with me. And I’m still alone.
So my synopsis: Stop making dating into some secretive game. I hate games. Life’s too short to be playing games. My parents married very late (past 40). Were divorced many times ’till they had their first child. I didn’t spend much time with them when I was a child, since they were heavy into their careers, and when they retired/had steadier jobs, I was already a teenager.
Time flies. One day you graduate college, and the next you’re all alone watching reruns of Family Guy 20 years after syndication. Pathetic life, eh?
So screw all dating advice and self-help.
Joe!
I love you, my man! And I really really really feel for you.
You and people like yourself are exactly the reason dating coaches even exist in the first place.
Here’s a news flash: I did not create the “dating game.” The games that men and women play with each other when it comes to matters of the heart go back thousands and thousands of years.
I only arrived in Singapore in 2008. Trust me, hot women were ignoring guys like yourself for decades in Singapore before my arrival, and they will continue to do so long after I’m dead. It’s got nothing to do with me.
Hot women already do this naturally. They had to in order to repel losers or fake men and win over men who are truly strong and confident. I wrote this article to teach girls who want superior men but don’t know how to catch them and keep them.
Joe, I offer you a way out: I can explain to you these courtship “games” that hot women play (mainly unconsciously). I can tell you WHY they do them, HOW they do them, and what YOU can do to get through all those games and shields. If you’re in Singapore, check out: http://www.auradating.com
And quit reading dating advice intended for women and complaining about how shitty your life is. Stop your whining and man up!
Will,
Here’s a very belated reply to your comment, lol.
In this article, I merely describe women who tend toward the pole of “femininity,” which usually attracts guys who are more “masculine.” For more explanation of this terminology, see David Deida’s Way of the Superior Man, especially the Introduction.
Play on,
David