Keep those meetings to once a week

She couldn’t talk about anything else.

It was cute and endearing, but also very sad.

I predicted that her date would be a bit of a disaster. She would come off needy, empty and reeking of desperation.

And that would stifle her date’s interest and even scare him away.

Unfortunately, my prediction came true.

Do yourself a favour. Keep yourself as busy as possible leading up to a date.

You want to take your mind off your date as much as possible.

Don’t think about how he or she could be ‘The One’.

Don’t mention your date to your mother, grandmother or anyone who absolutely can’t wait to see you hitched. Don’t ruminate about your date with your friends.

If you can’t fill your time with work, then follow these suggestions.

Go to the gym. Read a good book. Spend an afternoon at the beach. Treat yourself to a manicure or massage. Soak in the jacuzzi or spa. Take a nap.

Go for a cocktail with your girls or a beer with your buddies. Throw yourself into your hobbies and passions.

Paradoxically, the secret to a successful first date is to have better things to do.

Learn more about dating expert

Dr Date at his website: www.powerofbeingasian.com

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a month, and we see each other almost every day. My girlfriends complain that I see him too often too early in the relationship. Do you think they could be right?

Yours, Wondering Winnie.

Dear Winnie,

Without more information about your relationship, it is hard to say. It really depends on your dating goals.

If you are looking for a fun fling, it’s perfectly all right to have your passionate affair in the short term.

But if you want to develop a committed, long-term relationship, I would side with your friends. You would be best served following my general rule of thumb.

Don’t date him more than once a week, at least for the first month.

Most men fall in love faster than most women. This is a little secret among dating experts. Most men also fall out of love faster than most women.

At the start, if you play your cards right, the man will want to meet you two or three times a week. Some may even want to see you every day.

If you give in and see them every time, eventually they will begin to feel restless and irritable, and they will begin to take you for granted and slowly stop cherishing you. This is just the nature of men.

To keep him from getting too much too soon, you must pace the relationship. Don’t expect the man to do it.

Let him think you have other plans, that he is not the only romantic option or interest in your life.

I know it’s hard for you to say ‘No’ when he asks you out again after a passionate kiss, and you are intoxicated by the smell of his scent on your neck. But you simply must summon your sweetest voice and say, ‘I’m sorry, I already have plans.’

Of course, do not give him any details about your plans, and do not include him in them.

The next step

This once-a-month structure is not forever. In the second month, you can see him twice a week, in the third month, three times a week, and in the fourth month, up to four times a week. But never see him more than four times a week until you’re engaged.

A man who is in love with you won’t be put off by your busy schedule in the beginning.

If you fall for his lines and see him every day, he might take you out a few times and be physically intimate with you, but then he may never call again, or worse, he may continue to see you, but his interest will fade. Watching someone fall out of love with you is really awful and painful.

If you see him no more than once a week, then you will force him to get to know you and really fall in love.