Give Girls More Credit
January 11, 2009
The editors changed the headline to include the word, “Playboys.” While I am a huge fan of Hefner’s Playboy and the whole Playboy philosophy, I don’t want this word associated with my name here. LOL.
Again, I drew from Fein and Schneider.
| The Electric New Paper : | |
| Dr Date | |
| Not all women are suckers for playboys | |
| LAST weekend, I overheard a conversation between a good female friend and a socially conservative male acquaintance. | |
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| 12 January 2009 | |
| LAST weekend, I overheard a conversation between a good female friend and a socially conservative male acquaintance.
He attacked the idea that a man could be taught how to be better with women. He admitted that there were men who were especially gifted at attracting women. But he contended that guys who are good with girls tend to simply manipulate and take advantage of them. My female friend, however, said something very interesting. She replied that his claim was insulting to her and the women of Singapore. She said he talked as if Singaporean women were easily deceived or tricked, and that he assumed that they were also stupid enough to be duped by some smooth talker. I must concur with her. After interacting with hundreds of charming Singaporean women, I must say that they are some of the most clever, cosmopolitan, and emotionally intelligent women in the world. There is no way that some random playboy would be able to ‘manipulate’ or ‘take advantage of’ them unless they allowed him to. Sure, some players lie just to get girls in bed. But I know for a fact that the girls in this city are sophisticated enough to know the score and handle themselves. They know what they are getting themselves into, even though sometimes they don’t want to admit it. They’ve seen how bad the world can be, either in TV, movies, or other pop media from the East and the West. They’ve frequented the rough and wild world of the nightlife scene since they turned 18, something they wouldn’t be able to do in America. Don’t use kid gloves to deal with adults. Indeed, those who treat girls as grown-ups are that much more attractive to women. Women have a mind of their own. On the whole, they are much more socially intelligent than men. Give the girls more credit. Dear Dr Date, My boyfriend and I are very different. He loves me a lot. But he is always late, hates Thai food (which is my favourite), and sometimes flirts with other girls right in front of me at parties. I’ve been trying to change him for months, but it’s not really working. How can I change a man’s bad habits? Yours, Annoyed Annie. Dear Annie, Your boyfriend loves you a lot. But I noticed you didn’t say whether you love him a lot. Can you change a man’s habits? Yes, but only if he himself wants to change and wants it desperately. Otherwise, no. It will be almost impossible to change. You should either accept his flaws or find someone else. His tardiness and culinary preferences are annoying but forgivable foibles. You will just have to get used to being ready at 10pm when he says 9pm. And you can go out with your girlfriends when you get cravings for Thai food. But a man of class would not insult you by hitting on other girls in your presence. You have to think hard about what you can put up with. If a man cheats on you during courtship, then chances are good he will do it during your marriage. Don’t delude yourself. There is truth in the cliches. What you see is what you get. And old habits die hard. If you are too troubled by his behaviour, then you must decide for yourself whether to stay or leave. Whatever you do, don’t nag him, or he will withdraw inwards or lash out in resentment. Think long and hard. But remember, there are plenty of great men out there! |
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