Having Fun equals Effective Socializing

5 Responses to “Having Fun equals Effective Socializing”

1. rainmaker on November 17th, 2008 2:04 am

   Cool article man. But definitely easier said than done. There are a number of points I’d like to raise:

   1. I totally agree with the - you must be having fun when you go out vibe. But being able to ‘have fun’ alone isn’t that easy. I’m the type who needs to party or do something ‘fun’ after a long work week. Generally when I go out I do have fun - BUT this also depends highly on the crowd, the venue and the company I keep. I generally club with a group of friends, at least 4 if not more. They’re a very fun group and we always have a great time when we’re out together. However this comes alot from the fact that we’re a bunch of good friends enjoying each other’s company and drinking plenty!

   Also - many things can spoil a good night. For example, not having a decent position to sit or having people give poor responses when you try to talk to them.

   If you’re going out alone you need extremely solid inner game to be able to truly ‘enjoy’ and have a good time. That leads me onto my second point.

   2. Again - I’m 100% in agreement with you that solid inner game is the key to mastery of pick-up. Once inner gameflows well then all the routines, techniques etc should come naturally. However - confidence isn’t something you can just build. SUCCESS BUILDS CONFIDENCE. This is apparent in any walk of life i.e. if you’re starting out at a new discipline of studies you can’t automatically be confident that you know the information really well. You need to have studied and taken tests and begin to build a creditable history of doing well before you can start to feel ‘confident’ in that field.

   Therefore I think that learning routines and techniques are extremely important to developing confidence in the first instance.

   Thanks for the article! It’s great to have inspirations like yourself!

2. asianrake on November 17th, 2008 6:05 am

   Rainmaker,
   Great to hear from you!

   I’ll respond to your points in order.

   1. Whether you have fun is entirely up to you. The external circumstances only affect you to the extent that you allow them to.

   Yes, this takes mental discipline and control.

   And yes, if you know that certain external circumstances can easily affect your mood, then seek to control those as much as possible. If you know that you can’t sit in the club unless you book a table, and that not having a real seat is a big deal for you, then don’t go there unless you can book a table.

   However, only *you* can determine whether you allow such minor things as not having a seat to affect your enjoyment of the night.

   More importantly, if you are allowing people’s reactions to dictate whether you are having a good night, then you are putting your self-esteem at the mercy of things outside your control! This goes against a cardinal rule of learning. Get my Dating 101, where I go over this and the other principles in detail

   2. Yes, confidence can come from external referential experiences.

   However, you can also build confidence entirely from the inside, through visualizations and affirmations. This is actually the key to accelerating the learning process and shaving years off your journey to mastery. So few men know this. And yes, it too takes plenty of discipline. But yes, this is the secret to getting that “jedi” level.

   There is an age-old principle in the “community.” All naturals and gurus have what David D. has called, “Delusional Self-Confidence.” It’s delusional because it’s not based on external reference experiences. You can build self-confidence completely from the inside.

   I cover Confidence and How to Get it in my Dating 101.

   Peace and love, Dr. Asian Rake.

3. rainmaker on November 17th, 2008 10:17 pm

   Thanks for your reply man! Greatly appreciate it! I’ll definitely be getting your audio course once I get through the materials I have at hand right now.

   Haha - unfortunately I haven’t had the courage to get out to the field that much. Mainly that’s because I haven’t got a wing who I can work well with. I know I know! I’m making excuses!

   You still know any good guys in Beijing?

4. asianrake on November 18th, 2008 7:48 am

   Yo dude,
   It’s my pleasure.

   The best guys realize that your best wings are the naturals and high status males you meet out at the clubs. Go make some cool friends who are cool with you meeting new people when you are out at night. Beijing has tons of cool guys like that.

   One of the most important things I look for in a “wing” is someone who knows how to have fun no matter what the circumstances. Of the many many lair guys I met in Beijing, only one guy met that requirement.

   All the other guys were just too much in their heads, even when we let them hang out with us. Also, some guys just didn’t “get” what we were doing and didn’t understand that a lot of the “work” is done before you go to the venue and most of the “seduction” is done when you’re alone with the girl on a date or in the seduction location.

   If you haven’t already, your number one resource for building a social circle of cool guys and hot girls is Conquer Your Campus, which is applicable to much more than the campus scene.

   Cheers, Dr. Asian Rake.

5. Cell Phone Accessories on September 13th, 2011 4:25 pm

   But wanna state that this is very beneficial , Thanks for taking your time to write this.

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