The Wall Stand

In fact, body language accounted for 55 per cent, vocal tonality for 38 per cent and verbal content accounted for only 7 per cent.

Yet, so many men ask me for the magic pick-up lines.

The truth is, there is no perfect pick-up line. Any line can work.

The more important factors by far are the fundamentals - your body language and vocal tonality. And underlying the fundamentals of body language and tonality is the foundation: The right psychological attitudes to women, the world, and yourself.

Let’s focus first on body language.

Many of my women friends in Singapore have noticed a common phenomenon among many men here: Bad posture. It projects physical, mental and emotional weakness.

Perhaps it’s because the extreme heat is so enervating, or men are emulating their slouching seniors and hence perpetuating the cycle, or the straight posture reminds guys of their military service, which they would rather forget. Honestly, I’m not sure why it occurs.

There are several remedies, but the simplest is this: the Wall Stand.

Stand with your back against a wall. Make sure the back of your head, your shoulders, buttocks and heels are touching the wall. Keep your chin up. Hold this position for three minutes.

Now keep the same posture, and take one step forward. Remember how this wall posture feels. Commit this to your muscular memory.

Repeat the wall stand once a day for three months straight. It’s just three minutes a day for three months.

The key is consistent application. Do the wall stand once a day. And check your posture throughout the day.

Good posture is important not just to your attractiveness and confidence but also to your overall good health and well-being. In three months, anyone can eradicate that slouching posture.

Learn more about dating expert Dr Date at his website: www.powerofbeingasian.com.

There is a really cute guy at work who likes me. I’d like to know him better. But I don’t want to be too aggressive or easy. How do I know whether to play hard to get?

Yours, Confused Cheryl

Dear Cheryl,

Should you play hard to get?

There is a famous study by four highly respected social scientists entitled ‘Hard to Get: Understanding an Elusive Phenomenon’.

The researchers polled college guys about whether they preferred hard-to-get women and why. The responses were predictable. The men figured that if a girl was hard to get, she had to be more valuable.

As good academics, they wanted to test common assumptions. So they hired a group of young men and women who did not know each other.

The men were to call the women and ask them on a date. Half the women were to pause for three seconds and then only reluctantly accept, hence playing hard to get. The other half was to accept immediately and with enthusiasm, hence being easy to get.

When the researchers asked the men how they felt, the results were remarkable. The men liked the ‘easy to get’ women much better. The researchers repeated the tests five more times using five different methods. The results were the same each time.

Contrary to prevailing presumptions, playing hard to get with men does NOT make them want you more… at first.

In a follow-up study, the men were told that others were pursuing the woman. This did the job. When the man thought the woman was hard to get for his rivals, but easy to get for him, he liked her even more than before!

So when a man asks you out on a date, respond immediately and enthusiastically. But then subtly imply or demonstrate that you are hard to get for other men.