Social Reactionaries

October 9, 2008

I’ve gotten lots of great feedback and encouraging letters of support after I was featured in Singapore’s The New Paper and I started writing the regular column as Dr. Date in The New Paper. The staff at The New Paper has been nothing but gracious and professional.

In fact, it looks like my last column about the booty text contained offensive language! How could I have missed it? I thought I was doing the country a service by educating young girls on what the country’s players were trying to do. Truth and knowledge are always good in my books. I really don’t care about making it harder for players. I’m fine with raising the stakes. It’s not like the bar gets set that much higher anyway, haha. After all, step up your game!

Some girls have expressed to me their appreciation for that lesson.

However, one guy took it upon himself to write in to the paper with a grammatically correct and rational-sounding complaint about that booty text column. I figure that, for all I know, there are other guys who think the same way. I’m not going to take up column space to address this, but I am willing to give him some blog time.

Here are the crucial parts of the letter:

“This is a written response to Dr Date’s article in the New Paper on Sunday the 5th of October. In it, Dr Date wrote an article warning women to be aware of the players in Singapore who use late night phone messaging to entice women to sleep with them. He makes an impassionate speech about how Singapore has a lot of players and how malevolent their advances can be. He ends the article by saying that if you are an attractive female, you should promptly ignore these inappropriate texts.”

So far so good :-)
“Please take note of the last bullet point which says “ESCALATE DIRECTLY TO SEX”. This is a direct contradiction to what he wrote about how women should beware of the players in Singapore who want to have sex with them. He also mentioned about following through on text and email in a previous bullet point which serves to further highlight the outright contradiction about what he wrote and what he actually practices and preaches.”

Okay, now. Faithful blog readers ought to be able to respond to this one. Escalating directly to sex does not mean that you ever force yourself on a girl or bombard her with thoughtless text messages. It means that you don’t do anything unnecessary (like going on ten dates first) before giving the girl what she wants.

“As a normal guy wanting to meet women, I send text messages at
different times of the day and night just for the fun of it. Dr Date
has made it seem like sending text messages is a sinister act to
entice women to sleep with a man. This is devastating to a man’s
confidence as he may simply text an ordinary message to a woman he
likes and she may not respond simply because she read Dr Date’s
article. Moreover, Dr Date has been seen leading a bootcamp outside at
bars and clubs teaching men how to pick up random women. His behaviour
and his words are completely contradictory and should be used as a
warning to any man who wants to study under him. In all likelihood,
there are some serious questions about ethics and professional
practices that Dr Date should answer to the public if he continues to
write in the New Paper about dating advice to men and women.”

One by one now, lol.

What I wrote was this:

“Here’s the general rule.

“If a man sends you a late night text that reads something like, ‘Hey, whatcha up to?’ or ‘Hey, where are you?’ or ‘What are you doing now?’ or ‘Wanna meet up?’ or ‘Let’s meet’, then this constitutes a booty call text. He’s texting you to get your ‘booty’.

“This is a transparent ploy to get into your pants with minimal effort or time.

“If you do not want to sleep with this person, then do NOT respond.

“This is not an innocent question asked over text message at one in the morning.”

Notice that it wasn’t merely the timing of the text that is the problem.

It’s also (and mainly) the CONTENT of the text. The booty text offers no value whatsoever. It is a thinly veiled booty call.

I’m assuming this guy isn’t sending out texts like those. If he is, he should consider changing those texts because they offer no value whatsoever.

In fact, they’re value-leeching. He’s not telling her anything interesting about his life or about the venue or about the night. Nothing at all. He’s just value leeching. And girls are right to ignore value-leeching texts.

I send late night texts all the time. But they are to my good friends. And I try to offer (or be) some value every time. (For advanced social artists: There is a correct time, place, and reason for the booty text, but that’s for another post).

Also, I have never said that I don’t teach bootcamps. In fact, the feature article in The New Paper mentioned this already.

Maybe this guy has a problem with the whole idea of learning how to be better with women, in which case, we don’t have much to talk about, lol.

My bootcamps are NOT to train “players” (guys who trick or manipulate women into doing things they regret).

They’re to help people get better with meeting and attracting women in a genuine and natural manner.

You certainly can’t get better with women if you don’t actually go out, meet, and talk to some women! LOL. So yes, I lead in-field sessions as part of my personal coaching. Practice in the real world is a necessary component of getting better in the social arts.

You know, men everywhere in the world seem to have a real hang-up about meeting women, like it’s a sin or something, or like they’re bothering the women. No wonder there are so many dissatisfied women out there.

Peace and love, David.

» Want to get GOOD with women FAST? Download Dating 101 NOW.«

Posted by Asian Rake | Filed Under Column in "The New Paper" 

Comments

One Response to “Social Reactionaries”

  1. Earl Grey on October 12th, 2008 6:44 am

    Well said, Dave. There are always people around who just can’t see it the way others do. Thanks for highlighting a local’s interesting viewpoint. Take care, man. :)

Got something to say?