Singapore Pick Up Weirdos
October 6, 2008
So the new column is out. The link should be working for about a week.
Once that’s expired, you’ll have to read the text below. I would’ve gone into more detail, especially on the workplace romance topic, but I had a word limit to adhere to.
[UPDATE: The latest column got added to another news aggregator.]
HOW can you protect yourself from players?
My younger sister, who is living in New York, asked me recently about the social scene in Singapore. We got to talking about the guys I’ve been meeting in the clubs and bars and what I’ve heard my female friends say about them.
I’ll let you in on a little secret - Singapore has a lot of players.
Most of them have atrocious ‘game’ but are nonetheless doing very well with the ladies.
A surprising number of young Singaporean women don’t seem to realise they’re being played until it’s too late.
To educate and inoculate young people from such malevolent advances, I shall apprise you of one prominent aspect of their ‘game’: The Booty Call Text.
Here’s the general rule.
If a man sends you a late night text that reads something like, ‘Hey, whatcha up to?’ or ‘Hey, where are you?’ or ‘What are you doing now?’ or ‘Wanna meet up?’ or ‘Let’s meet’, then this constitutes a booty call text. He’s texting you to get your ‘booty’.
This is a transparent ploy to get into your pants with minimal effort or time.
If you do not want to sleep with this person, then do NOT respond.
This is not an innocent question asked over text message at one in the morning.
Any kind of response at all will only encourage the player. Especially if you respond politely or flirtatiously, you will only get more such texts later in the week, if not later that very night.
If you are an attractive female, you should become accustomed to receiving and promptly ignoring inappropriate texts like these.The Booty Call Text. Beware.
Learn more about relationship expert Dr Date at his website: www.powerofbeingasian.com
DEAR DR DATE,
I met this girl at my work place and got attracted to her. We have never spoken to each other before.
Because we are in different departments, there is little chance for us to communicate.
What can I do?
- Desmond
Dear Desmond,
Ah, workplace romances. There’s an old saying, ‘Don’t piss in the pool.’
Stop and think. There’s the potential of lawsuits, termination of employment, and a black mark on your resume. Whenever romantic feelings are involved, things tend to get messy.
I know, though, that no matter how much I try to deter you, you’re going to try it anyway. So here’s how to do it.
Be the guy who is friendly and talkative with everyone, who organises and invites people for social gatherings, group lunches, happy hour drinks.
Then, include this girl in your invitations. The next time you see her, say to her casually, ‘Hey, I’ve noticed you around here. But we’ve never met. My name is Desmond.’
And then mention that you’re getting some people together for lunch and that she should come along. Mention the friends you’re lunching with, how interesting they are, and how they would like her. Rave about the delicious food at the restaurant you’ve picked.
Soon, other people will be inviting this girl to YOUR outings: ‘Hey, we’re going with Desmond for happy hour drinks. You should come along.’
She will see you as the leader and the cool guy.
Notice that your reason for getting her number or chat address is to send her invitations to future outings.
Get her in group social settings, and then relax and have a good time. Be positive and fun.
You can give her a little more attention and time, but don’t invest too much in her yet. After all, she’s just another pretty face so far. Get to know her better first. Give her the chance to win you over.
If you truly are the social man, she’ll make an effort to get to know you better. She’ll stay behind after everyone else leaves. Then, you can go together to another lounge or eatery to continue getting acquainted.
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