Why I hate the word, ‘Sarging,’ and How “The Game” F-cked Us Up
May 22, 2008
I had the pleasure of hanging out with Natural-MD and Wing-S this weekend. I haven’t hung with them in a while because they live on the other side of town and have been busy with relatives and other visitors on the weekends. And now Natural-MD actually has a real girlfriend, you know, the ‘exclusive’ kind.
We had some drinks, played pool, and flirted with a few girls as we went about having fun. I was reminded of the pure pleasure of going out and spending time with guys just for the sake of it… And how it got me my first six out of seven girls when I returned to Beijing last September.
Natural-MD pulled out his usual arsenal of gay jokes, telling me repeatedly that my ass is too loose from the last time he and his friends pulverized it and reminding me that he was built like a horse while mine was well, too small for much good. LOL.
A lesser man might be offended. But this was all about getting out of your fucking head and stopping that voice in your mind that questions and challenges everything and that ego that always wants the “truth.”
This is real AMOGing. Haha. Only real men can take it.
God, how many burly British rubgy jocks and oversized American footballers have I taken out and completely eliminated through the gay jokes I learned from Natural-MD! I also heard Stephane talk about this on his David D interview. I should give this tech a name: Gay-AMOGing! LOL. Awesome.
The thing with Natural-MD and most other naturals is that a lot of them can’t take their own shit thrown back at them. So I dialed it down because I wanted Natural-MD in the right mood. I wanted him bull-shitting and ‘in the zone.’ He’s unstoppable when he hits that sweet spot. No, not that spot. lol.
We’re just shooting the shit. We’re loud, dominant, out of our heads, fucking with each other (lol), and most importantly HAVING FUN.
Is this ’sarging’? I don’t know. But it gets me a whole lot more hot women than going out with guys who are ’sarging.’
I can often pick out these ’sargers’ before I even meet them. Their eyes dart too and fro, looking for their next target. They look restless, as if they feel like they should be doing something more productive than having fun. They want to “get to work.” They suck energy from the room. You get the feeling when they talk to you that they want something from you, desperately. They take value from you, even when they’re smiling. You get the feeling they’re using you for something rather than just enjoying the moment. Of course, the more they do this, the worse it gets. They go spiraling down. I try not to get caught in their backwash.
The true masters, like Sebastian Drake, Tyler Durden (Owen), and many other community gurus have been preaching this for years, yet it’s as quickly forgotten by most community guys as that last drunk girl’s name.
The first and foremost thing you should do when you’re “out to meet girls” is: HAVE FUN. Read my post on Being Unselfconscious for more on this.
Many ‘community’ guys and lair members contact and try to meet up with me to go ’sarging,’ as they call it in their emails and phone calls. I have nothing against them personally. I’m an active, contributing member of the local lairs, and I fully support helping guys grow in their quest to become better with women.
However, an immediate red flag and complete turn-off is when guys try to gain rapport with me by using PUA terms like ‘negs,’ AA (approach anxiety, not alcoholics anonymous, though the second kind of AA might help you with the first, lol), A2, DHV, and worst of all, ’sarging.’ I heard this was first used by Ross Jeffries in connection with his cat or something similarly creepy
[EDIT: Notice that I am criticizing the word or term, 'sarging.' I'm not criticizing the actual activity of meeting and attracting women, which some guys annoyingly refer to by this creepy RJ term, 'sarging.' See my next post for more clarification.]
When you call the activity of going out to meet girls ’sarging,’ you set it apart from what you do in the rest of your life. Rather than thinking about meeting and attracting girls as just a part of their everyday lives and an expression of their natural and ideal personalities, they instead isolate it to some clearly demarcated and now anxiety-ridden time and place.
Stop acting as if chatting up that cute girl in the bar is something special or out of the norm. You’re just being social!
Realize that you are a MAN who goes after what he wants. If you are a man like that, then you will naturally approach that breathtakingly beautiful girl across the room and tell her that you saw her standing there and that you just had to meet her, and then you stand back and wait to see if she meets the rest of your standards.
A lot of what was taught in the earlier days of the community, the period featured by Neil Strauss in his The Game, was created to protect fragile egos. And instead of fixing the ego problem, guys try to go Neil’s route, which was the much more difficult and arduous one, and they get on the four-year gravy train through hell and back.
They do it the hard way, rather than take the first-class seat on the express flight. Wayne Elise (aka., Juggler) hints at this at the end of his chapter when he writes, “I wanted to tell him that the answer he was seeking lay elsewhere.”
Stop trying to protect your ego. Grow up. Don’t hide behind the term, ’sarging,’ or pretend it’s just an arcade game.
Instead, go out and HAVE FUN. And while you’ve got that big, crazy smile on your face from laughing at the hysterically funny thing your friend just said, turn to that cute girl next to you and say, “How’s your girl’s night out going?”
Now don’t get me wrong. Neil’s book is a phenomenal read. I was entirely riveted by it. It inspired me to improve myself in that area of my life. I learned a lot about the personalities of Tom Cruise, himself, Mystery, Ross Jeffries, Tyler Durden (for better or for worse), and many other heroes in the community at the time. And I absolutely love Neil’s sense of fashion and ’style.’ I think he is as good of a pickup artist as his admirers think he is. But there are a few aspects of the book that had a really deleterious effect on the next generation in the community.
One of these is that The Game glorifies going out to meet women apart from having fun with friends. It’s like he and Mystery are ‘clocking in’ each time they enter a club. It’s like work for them. They don’t make it sound fun at all. They go out, armed with their weapons and club kit, ready to do war. He makes it sound like some kind of milestone when he ditches his normal friends in order to clock in time at the club. Granted, I’ve written myself about avoiding people who are negative influences in your life.
But finding positive influences and true friends who are happy to contribute to your self-development and to meeting your goals is something you should be doing regardless of whether you want to get better with women. That’s the right message.
The wrong message is that going out to meet women, or worse, ’sarging,’ is something special that you are doing.
Not ’sarging.’ No, not ’sarging.’ Don’t ever use that word around me.
As my good friend Sebastian likes to drill into people:
1. Have fun!
2. Make other people have fun.
3. And then see if that hot girl really meets your standards.
Happy playin’, The Asian Rake.
Comments
9 Responses to “Why I hate the word, ‘Sarging,’ and How “The Game” F-cked Us Up”
Got something to say?
-
__________________________
Comments
9 Responses to “Why I hate the word, ‘Sarging,’ and How “The Game” F-cked Us Up”
Got something to say?
-
__________________________
Heh, I think you should call it “Gaymoging.” Rolls off the tongue much more easily, but still makes sense.
Long time reader, first time commenter. Your posts are excellent. I think you really have a good balance between the game and the rest of your life. Looking forward to your next post.
-AFDesi
http://afdesi.blogspot.com
Gaymoging! Nice. It sounds familiar too. I swear I’ve heard it somewhere else…
Thanks for the suggestion, afdesi!
Hey AR,
Thanks for the last comment I will look forward to the post when you publish it. I understand that while your life is already beyond the days of North America, it would be fantastic to read about interracial game in action in North America. I would imagine foreign girls in China are easy, because the culture there enables guys like us to do well, but in North America it isn’t homecourt anymore. Hope to read that soon!
On another note, while I agree with how you don’t like using the word “sarging”, a lot of my friends realize that we still have to go out and do this because we are not at the natural stage yet. We all want to be naturals, but it isn’t natural for us to just pickup a girl so we have to start somewhere and practice. Since we are all familiar with the Game terms, this is why we use the terms to dissect our game.
However, I guess when you move beyond that stage the whole aspect of meeting new women should be incorporated into your daily life.
Lance from honeyandlance.com wrote a comment, which I approved, but then it disappeared from my comments page and is now lost in cyberspace. Weird.
Hey Lance, if you want to write in again here, I’d welcome it!
Anyway, the gist of it was that he too disliked the word, ’sarging.’
But he couldn’t see any way to get the field experience necessary to get to an elite level (like mine, he said; thanks for the compliment) without clocking in and putting in the time. He said that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. It’s just that it requires discipline. He said you have to have a disciplined training mentality, as if training for sports. He said if they were any other way to get good, he’d like to hear it.
Ritzfollower,
Thanks for the follow-up comment. I’ll get around to writing about Asian-Americans soon:-)
You make a similar point, that you feel you have to “go out and do this” because you aren’t at a “natural” stage yet.
Ritzfollower and Lance,
Great points!
I am going to edit the original post to address your concerns. So look up
I welcome your comments on the edits too.
Cheers, The Asian Rake.
Lovely post. I’m going to break it down and analyze it (a bit) because a lot of people in the community seem to be ascribing to the similar views: sarging IS bad. I disagree with this. Let me explain.
>”When you call the activity of going out >to meet girls ’sarging,’ you set it apart >from what you do in the rest of your life. >Rather than thinking about meeting and >attracting girls as just a part of their >everyday lives and an expression of their >natural and ideal personalities, they >instead isolate it to some clearly >demarcated and now anxiety-ridden time >and place.”
I agree with this completely. We need to make what we do, socializing/picking up girls, a part of us. This is why we started pick up, right. If we think its something thats not worth our time then why do it at all?
Now, just because we need to make socializing a part of ourselves DOESN’T make sarging a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with alotting time to doing something.
Here’s an analogy, albeit a bad one. lol. If you’re a farmer growing crops, you will take care of those crops at anytime of the day that you need to take care of them. Still, this doesn’t make it a bad thing to alot, say, an 12 hour slot to specifically take care of those crops.
Basically, although socializing should become integrated within us, it doesn’t hurt to alot specific time for it.
Saying sarging is bad is the opposite extreme– sarging versus not sarging at all– which, granted, is easier than finding a balance between the two.
Nice thought provoking post, sir. We’re all here to learn;)
Thoseguns,
Thanks for your comment.
See my latest post, the one right after this one. It should clear up your misunderstandings.
Basically, I’m not at all criticizing the actual activity of “sarging.” You talk as if “sarging” is something I can agree or disagree with. I’m not doing anything of the sort. I’m simply saying, stop referring to “meeting and attracting women” as ’sarging.’
I’m criticizing giving the activity (approaching, meeting, and attracting new women) a new word. Don’t call it anything special because you’re not actually doing anything special. You’re just being a man who is cool and does what a cool man does, which includes approaching and attracting beautiful women.
Cheers, The Asian Rake.
Yea, I agree. At the end of the day, after all the years of practice, this should become just a natural part of us. It would be silly for me to say things like I’m going out “breathing” tonight or “walking” tonight because those are naturally expected when one goes out. In the same vein, “sarging” should just be assumed. Again, like AR says, it’s not the actions themselves, it’s the mentality.
My two (more?) cents,
-AFDesi
http://afdesi.blogspot.com
First-time reader, and I think it’s a great post. Now, I’ve been settled down for a long time, and I hope it stays that way, but I find this whole thing fascinating. When I first heard of the term “sarging”, I thought: “No way. This HAS to be a joke.” What a ridiculous and unpleasant thing to call it! I think “sarging” would make a better euphemism for taking a nice long dump, honestly. Applied to the act of meeting women, it kinda turns my stomach. If it sounds like I’m missing the point of the post — no, not at all! I just don’t have anything valuable to contribute to the larger point. (I never was a pickup artist, and just lucked out with someone I’m insanely happy with.) I just wanted to point out that use of the term “sarging”, from this outsider’s perspective . . . is for doofuses. Thank you.
Afdesi,
Thanks for being one of the few out there who actually understood my main point
Ben,
Good to hear we’re on the same page here.
Cheers, The Asian Rake.