On being a lover who is "Ethical"

July 17, 2007

I call myself an “ethical” lover for important reasons.

1) Practical: If my employer were ever to discover my blog and match it to my identity, I’d want them to know that I wasn’t doing anything illegal or sleazy or immoral. In fact, if anything, I am doing all this seduction stuff for the very reason that I love women and want what’s best for them. It just so happens that *I* am what’s best for them :P So in a way, this is to help me cover my employed ass.

2) I really am uncomfortable with guys who try to use PUA techniques to take advantage of women. Maybe it’s my religious upbringing or maybe it’s b/c I have sisters, but I hate guys who exploit women. In my personal coaching, I ask potential clients to write me a short note about their background and what they hope to get out of their coaching, and I require this before I consent to take them on as clients. Hopefully, this will never be my main source of income, so that I can be flexible like this. I noticed Brad P. has a disclaimer on his website saying that he will not coach men with a history of abusing women or some such, and then he provides links to various therapy sites. Respect.

3) The kind of “game” that appeals to me and that I wish to practice is one driven by my moral conscience. This kind of conscience has been in place since the community had its beginnings with Ross Jeffries, who coined the phrase, “Leave her better than you found her.” I believe Style in his book tried to follow this. Juggler has also said that he only teaches methods that he would be comfortable seeing used on his mom or sister. I, too, want only to do things that are best for my women. This has not always been the case, and I am still dealing with the repercussions of this with one special girl in particular.

Lately, there has been another guy, Kimjongill, on this other forum who has flipped some “unethical” switches in me. If you’re not on this forum, all you need to know is that he often says negative things about people in general and has posted clandestine photos of half-naked targets in his “empty bragging” FRs.

Would I want to see half-naked photos of my sisters posted w/o their consent (and in one case, probably taken w/o their knowledge) for the guy who picked her up that day to show off to his friends? Hell, no! In fact, I would have a mind to take a baseball bat to that guy’s head. Okay, too much aggression, there.

I would, however, be very comfortable knowing that one of you had swept her off her feet that day, shown her a marvelous time, and then made her night in bed (okay, actually, that last part I don’t want to think about). And I would furthermore like to know that that guy who swept her off her feet had the class to keep the naughty details to himself, or if he does tell it to other guys for their educational benefit, he keeps all the identifying details anonymous. This would of course mean that he would not post any half-nude photos of my sister on some blog or forum. I make it a policy only to post photos of girls with their consent or photos that they already have up on some public setting, like facebook or myspace.

Zan said one of the characteristics of a natural is that he never kisses and tells:

“He feels no need to validate himself to other men by bragging about his exploits. He never kisses and tells. Ever. His encounters with women are never about bolstering his own self-esteem or adding another notch to his bedpost. It is all about respect.”
http://www.enlightenedseduction.com/articles.htm

Here, here.

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Posted by Asian Rake | Filed Under Miscellaneous 

Comments

No Responses to “On being a lover who is "Ethical"”

  1. Sexmachine5000 on July 19th, 2007 4:29 pm

    popping, as in popping a punch to the face, mind you. ya’ll know who you are, GUILTY AS CHARGEDAHHH lol

  2. Regal on July 19th, 2007 10:11 pm

    I went to a meeting of the New York Lair a while ago… can’t remember if I told you this story, man. It was my first and last time going there. There were probably sixty guys sitting in the room, and some chubby bald guy who wrote some book going on and on (in a very bitter way) about how all women cheat, it’s their biology… guys were cheering and clapping. I was like, “WTF is this, some kind of cheated-on-men’s hate-on-women night?” There was so much bitterness in the room.

    The bald dude was like, “It’s great for us pickup artists, because we can take advantage of all those cheaters out there!” All the guys were cheering and clapping more. Then they asked me to pay $18 to stay. I was like, “Fuck that, you couldn’t pay ME $18 to stay!”

    There was so much vitriol in that room towards women… man, even when I sucked with chicks I never let myself become bitter. My mentality was always, “Other guys can get girls, so obviously there is something that *I* am doing wrong… there’s nothing wrong with the girls.”

    People who are filled with spite are never at peace. That’s no way to live.

    p.s. I left theApproach forum because I don’t agree with taking oaths others set out for me, and I was barred from entry without taking an oath… I disagreed with the principle, not the content of the oath. And hey, anyway, I only beat women occasionally homie!

  3. The Asian Rake on July 19th, 2007 10:25 pm

    Hey Regal,
    That lair meeting sounds disturbing. The bald guy sounds a bit like Tom Cruise’s character in Magnolia. I try to stay away from meetings where there are lots of guys with bad or negative inner game. It tends to rub off on me after a while.

    I’m glad you only beat ‘em occasionally. I was a little worried about you… I, on the other hand, try to do it every time! All girl’s like a good a smack on the ass… at the right moment ;)

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