Love and Pick-up: Do they go together?
July 29, 2007
Why is it that I increasingly find my own thoughts repeated more eloquently in Sean Newman’s blog? http://seanmessenger.com/2007/07/pickup-teaches-you-to-fear-love.html
Happy Sunday, guys!
Now what?
July 26, 2007
Holy frick! This is probably the best post I’ve ever read on a PUA blog. Worth repeated reads:
http://realsocialdynamics.blogspot.com/2007/07/upcoming-article-ii.html
On being a lover who is "Ethical"
July 17, 2007
I call myself an “ethical” lover for important reasons.
1) Practical: If my employer were ever to discover my blog and match it to my identity, I’d want them to know that I wasn’t doing anything illegal or sleazy or immoral. In fact, if anything, I am doing all this seduction stuff for the very reason that I love women and want what’s best for them. It just so happens that *I* am what’s best for them 
So in a way, this is to help me cover my employed ass.
2) I really am uncomfortable with guys who try to use PUA techniques to take advantage of women. Maybe it’s my religious upbringing or maybe it’s b/c I have sisters, but I hate guys who exploit women. In my personal coaching, I ask potential clients to write me a short note about their background and what they hope to get out of their coaching, and I require this before I consent to take them on as clients. Hopefully, this will never be my main source of income, so that I can be flexible like this. I noticed Brad P. has a disclaimer on his website saying that he will not coach men with a history of abusing women or some such, and then he provides links to various therapy sites. Respect.
3) The kind of “game” that appeals to me and that I wish to practice is one driven by my moral conscience. This kind of conscience has been in place since the community had its beginnings with Ross Jeffries, who coined the phrase, “Leave her better than you found her.” I believe Style in his book tried to follow this. Juggler has also said that he only teaches methods that he would be comfortable seeing used on his mom or sister. I, too, want only to do things that are best for my women. This has not always been the case, and I am still dealing with the repercussions of this with one special girl in particular.
Lately, there has been another guy, Kimjongill, on this other forum who has flipped some “unethical” switches in me. If you’re not on this forum, all you need to know is that he often says negative things about people in general and has posted clandestine photos of half-naked targets in his “empty bragging” FRs.
Would I want to see half-naked photos of my sisters posted w/o their consent (and in one case, probably taken w/o their knowledge) for the guy who picked her up that day to show off to his friends? Hell, no! In fact, I would have a mind to take a baseball bat to that guy’s head. Okay, too much aggression, there.
I would, however, be very comfortable knowing that one of you had swept her off her feet that day, shown her a marvelous time, and then made her night in bed (okay, actually, that last part I don’t want to think about). And I would furthermore like to know that that guy who swept her off her feet had the class to keep the naughty details to himself, or if he does tell it to other guys for their educational benefit, he keeps all the identifying details anonymous. This would of course mean that he would not post any half-nude photos of my sister on some blog or forum. I make it a policy only to post photos of girls with their consent or photos that they already have up on some public setting, like facebook or myspace.
Zan said one of the characteristics of a natural is that he never kisses and tells:
“He feels no need to validate himself to other men by bragging about his exploits. He never kisses and tells. Ever. His encounters with women are never about bolstering his own self-esteem or adding another notch to his bedpost. It is all about respect.”
http://www.enlightenedseduction.com/articles.htm
Here, here.
Realism and Goal-setting
July 15, 2007
Last week, I met a good college friend here in Toronto for burritos and a couple of pints of beer, always a good combination. He’s my age, with a wife and a little girl. He’s also a pastor of a mainline Protestant church in a Toronto suburb. Just to give you some background, he’s a bright guy with amazing people skills. He’s great at talking to strangers and making them laugh. But he was raised in a blue-collar family, was the only one in his family to finish college, and really admires and respects education and learning, so this combination conspires to make him very insecure about his intellectual abilities. And he acts all shy and diffident around intellectual types, just the sort of people I hung around a lot during my Toronto days. He’s a pretty bright guy himself, but he’s got major, shall we say, inner game issues when it comes to getting ahead in the world. He even dropped out of college in his junior year because the Holy Spirit told him to, though I think it was really because he was on the verge of failing the same statistics course for the third time. Apparently, a year later, the Holy Spirit was okay with him going back to school, and he finished his degree.
So over some beers, I started to tell him about my new idea for doubling my income. It was based on the strategies I read in Timothy Ferris’s “4-Hour Workweek.” This is another amazing book recommended to me by Christian Hudson:
http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/
If you haven’t read it yet, get it. It’s a New York Times bestseller already. I bought an ebook version of it to take with me to Asia.
I started telling him that after using Ferris’s dreamline exercises, I discovered that I only need $4,500 a month to live my dream lifestyle in Shanghai. An equivalent lifestyle would cost me $10,500 a month in Toronto or even more in NYC. My friend cut me off asking, “But is that realistic?” It took me several heartbeats to figure out what he meant.
“Do you mean, is that realistic for Shanghai?” I asked.
“Yeah, can you get a job that pays that much in Shanghai?” he continued.
For some reason, I got really angry inside, though I tried really really hard not to show it. It was a strange feeling. Looking back, I think I got mad b/c he was reflecting back to myself my old middle-class attitudes and thinking, and I wasn’t far enough removed yet from my old way of thinking, and it scared me. I’ve been doing a lot of Napolean Hill-style affirmations and visualizations, as well as NLP techniques for auto-suggestion. I think I was afraid that I’d fall back again and all that work would be for naught if I started thinking in that old vein again.
You see, when you start to think big and dream about your future goals, the one question you should not ask is, “Is it realistic?” Instead, far better questions would be, “Do I really want this?” or “What would it take to reach that goal?”
No offense to him, but I can see now why he’s miserable in a dead-end job, in a passionless marriage, and stuck in boring suburbia. The only thing keeping him happy is his super cute little girl. I really wanted to help him, but you have to WANT to be helped before you can actually be helped.
When is it important to ask the, “Is it realistic?” question? I think the realism question can be fruitfully asked after you’ve considered the, “How can I reach that goal?” question, which itself comes after the dreaming and goal-setting.
Realism is important when you are considering how much you are willing to sacrifice to meet that goal. As well, you need to use some common sense, like if your goal is to learn to fly by flapping your arms, realism should kick in. But hey, who knows? Maybe one day somebody will develop a way to fly using our arms!
The problem with my friend was that making money for him was always associated with having a boss or having a “job.” This shows little imagination or creativity. Thinking big doesn’t come naturally to people anymore. One of the most important lessons the community has taught me is that you can become the master of your own reality. Or as Bruce Lee said, “As you think, so shall you become.”
First Ever Post
July 14, 2007
Hey guys,
Welcome to this blog that I’ve been meaning to start for some time now.
I’m starting this blog tonight because my head is bursting with thoughts that I absolutely need to express. I was going to continue writing a diary on my computer, but I thought a blog would be better b/c I could then get your feedback whenever you decide to drop in and look around.
And I value your opinions and advice on this. So please post or comment with full assurance that I will read your writing and am very grateful for your feedback. I’m going to try to post at least once a week. So check back often.
Let the adventures begin!
Got It!
July 1, 2007
Cool, your email address is confirmed. Looking forward to communicating more with you.
In the meantime, make sure that you learn about my Dating 101 Audio Course… it is the fastest, easiest way to improve your own game, social skills, and the women in your life.
Happy playin’
The Asian Rake
Subscription Confirmation
July 1, 2007
Thanks man, got your subscription. There is a confirmation email waiting for you. Please go ahead and check for it; you’ll be taken right back to my site once you are confirmed.
Happy Playin’
The Asian Rake
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