For the introduction to the series on being a Sexually Attractive Asian Man, click here.
For Part 1 of “Leadership” in this series, click here.
Onto Part 2 of “Leadership”:
Now let’s be clearer and examine actual real-life examples of such elite, sexually attractive Asian men. Let’s look at history first, because by the time we reach the second decade of the 2000′s, Asia’s already mixed up with a lot of Western influences; so let’s look further in the past to find our Asian heroes. You don’t have to abandon your cultural heritage because you’re not limited by what the average Asian man is doing or has done.
In terms of mating success, which is really evolutionary success, we can look at the most sexually prolific Asian men in history and glean some insight. These included the ruling class, especially the kings and emperors. The emperors routinely had hundreds of women in their harems, sometimes so many that in their lifetime they could not mate with every one of their concubines. Wow, sounds like a great problem to have–that there are so many women in line for your bed that you haven’t the time to get to them all. Emperor Kangxi, the Manchu emperor of China in the 1600s, had so many consorts that he made a law that if a woman in his harem reached the age of 30 without ever having slept with him, she would be released back to the town or village she came from and be free to marry another man.
In many of these Asian countries whose elite are determined by the educational system, there was often a socio-economic class just below the ruling class made up of governors and magistrates. They too often had multiple wives. This was also true of successful military commanders, some of the wealthier merchants, and the elite scholars.
It’s really only in relatively modern Asian history that a successful, elite man would have only a single wife. There is some irony in the fact that Asia held on to this history of multiple wives far longer than any western countries. The Asian elite were prodigious in their sexual mating, while their western counterparts needed to divorce and remarry to bed a new partner.
So much for the idea of Asian’s being sexually conservative. This is an example of an extreme version of the 80/20 rule, that these rulers and other elite made up less than 1 percent of the population, yet were sleeping with many of the most desirable women. When it comes to your mating success, not only evolutionary biology, but also society rewards you for being elite.
Now, the concept of Asian masculinity becomes even more complicated as we continue this conversation. This is something of a dichotomy. Cham Louise, a professor of education in Australia, has written extensively on the wen/wu dichotomy which literally translates as the “literary/martial” dichotomy. That is, he’s noticed that, in Chinese history, the masculine ideal was a split between the ideals of wen, which is to say literature or literary, and wu, which is the martial, the aggressor. This is the default masculinity in China.
Some say that Asian history lacks the masculine ideal that you find in the West. They argue that because Asia countries have always respected education, the elite in Asia have always been poets and scholars and not athletes or military men. There some truth to this because much of the elite in Asia are much more educated than the rest of the population. The Asian ideal of masculinity is different from that in the West, but it’s important to understand what the “literary” side of the Asian masculinity equation really means and to recognise that there is an assertiveness in that “literary” (wen) side.
Here’s one really great example of an Asian hero. The figure Wang Yangming flourished in the 15th century and was one of the most influential figures in the Confucian tradition. Not only was he one of the greatest philosophers in China, but he was also one of the most effective military commanders of his time. He quelled many rebellions as a military leader, and he used his philosophy in his military campaigns.
If you understand the literary/martial dichotomy, you’ll see that Asian masculinity combines both intelligence and strength. Simply put, the ideal Asian male can handle himself in battle and is also really smart; he embodies the best of brains and brawn.
Actually, this is not just an Asian idea, it’s also found in the West. A great example of this is Marcus Aurelius. But we also find in the Judaeo-Christian tradition King Solomon, who was the wisest of all men but also one of the most powerful military kings in their history.
Of course, we also have pop media examples of characters such as Indiana Jones, who was an archeology professor who could also kick ass with his whip. This brains/brawn combination also explains the appeal of 2012 NBA hero, Jeremy Lin, who was famously a Harvard grad. Apparently, he wasn’t even given a basketball scholarship to go there. He actually earned his degree with intelligence, yet now he’s a prominent point guard in the NBA.
The Asian tradition is a highly masculine one, where the rich and powerful would take a disproportionate number of desirable women, while the poor men would struggle to find even one mate.
As Richard Dawkins wrote in The Selfish Gene, if you’re in an all dove society, the best strategy for winning is to be a hawk. In Asian history, the elite man is like a hawk in an all dove society.
Evolution rewards the elite. To get ahead you’ve got to be better, so you should not be ashamed to be elite. Sometimes, I feel as if “elite” is almost a dirty word in Singapore. But success is elitist. The Confucian exam system is elitist. Asian society throughout its history has been elitist and still is, though the rhetoric is that it is not.
When it comes to being successful, with women and in life, we know that we need to be elite. This means that you need to stand up and be a leader. The Asian elites maintain their distinction over time because of a specialised upbringing, education, and training, giving them the skills, or the knowledge to stay ahead in life. If they fail to maintain this, they’d naturally fall out of the elite class eventually and be replaced by a new group of elites.
What About When It Comes to Dating?
Recall that the Asian masculine ideal combines brains and brawn. This simply means that an Asian male must be able to handle himself in battle and also be really smart, the best of brains and brawn. It is definitely this combination of the two that has historically led the elite to hoard so many of the females for themselves.
Yet, there is the worry about what is best for society, about whether the elite should sacrifice their own individual good for the good of the greater society. Well, in Asian history, you certainly don’t find leaders saying, “Well, I don’t need 100 women. I’ll just give 99 of my consorts away to my brothers and cousins.” If you think that being Asian means that you give way to other people, think again. That is the mentality of the masses, the ruled. To let other people step all over you is not Asian. Not only is this not Asian, it’s not Jewish, it’s not Islamic, and it’s not Christian. It’s certainly not Singaporean or Chinese.
Perhaps you feel that today’s elite is not the same as these ancient men, that they are sexually conservative, as is the Asian stereotype. Well, let me just remind you that one very visible sign of Asia being sexual and elites getting the most sex is the prevalence of prostitution throughout East Asia – something that is conveniently left out of the discussion of Asians as supposedly being sexually conservative. The only place in America where you can find legal prostitution is the state of Nevada, where it is overpriced and underused, with something of a stigma attached to it.
Yet, in Asia, especially in Japan, China, Korea, and Thailand, when you’re trying to close a business deal you take them to a KTV, which is basically a front for a brothel. To say that Asia is sexually conservative is bullsh*t. The Asian elites are not sexually conservative. They want the ruled masses to become sexually conservative. Why? Because if you’re the elite, sleeping with 80% of the women, you want the other non-elite dudes to be quiet and stay out of your way. That’s what’s been happening in Asia. If you continue to buy into that, you’ll continue to be part of the ruled 80%, which means having little or no access to the most desirable women and a lot less of the sex that’s happening.
Now if this sounds depressing to you because maybe right now, you don’t think that you’re in the top 5% of sexually attractive males in your society…well, don’t despair. Take hope. In this series, I’ll show you how you too can rise to the top and have a fulfilling and abundant sex life.
Stay tuned for the next part in this series!
Let’s face it. Guys in Singapore tend to be skinnier than the world average. This is consistent with the rest of the Southeast Asian area, so it wasn’t all that noticeable until recently with the sharp influx of imported, foreign professionals and executives, many from Western countries. While being skinnier is not necessarily a bad thing–especially as you get older, you’ll appreciate that your metabolism is still so high–for men looking to date attractive women, it can make things tougher.