Check out the new FAQ page
November 15, 2009 | 1 comment
For answers to frequently asked questions, go to the new FAQ page.
Master Your Social Destiny: The Best in Relationship Management
November 9, 2009 | 2 comments
In case you’re wondering what’s happened to the blog and me, I’m updating to let you know that everything’s great. Thanks for your concern and for those who’ve written to check in on me.
When I said I was taking a sabbatical to work on my writing projects, I really did mean what I said. So yes, I’ve been productive during this time. I haven’t forgotten my loyal readers and fans, though, and will be starting things up here again soon.
In the meantime, I want to tell you about one of the best products available in the attraction community. It’s a well kept secret. Very few people know about this because the creator has already retired from the community and has not bothered to market it much.
But I can say with complete confidence that it is THE BEST product on the market in the area of relationship management. And easily one of the very best products in the community, period.
I have no affiliate relationship whatsoever with this creator or his company. And I get no commissions or any kind of financial reward for promoting this product. I’m taking the time to tell you about this because I think it is that good.
This truly innovative product is by Sebastian Drake, one of my former mento
rs. It is his 3 CD set, Master Your Social Destiny.
It covers a lot of different topics, but especially relationship management, that is, what to do AFTER you’ve gotten the girl. This is an area that very few teachers know much about, though many pretend like they do.
Sebastian turns on its head many of the standard, but outmoded and tired community teachings on relationships. A lot of the community teachers are still just “pick-up artists” and really don’t know a thing about what makes a loving, strong, long-term relationship (except maybe what NOT to do).
I, for one, spent so much time on mastering the “meet to close” phase that years later, when I finally had to deal with managing relationships past the one year mark, I was treading water.
Thank goodness for Sebastian’s cutting edge teachings here. I just wish I had learned this stuff much earlier, as it would have saved a lot of heartache, both for myself and for many wonderful women.
Master Your Social Destiny is offered at a very reasonable price. And there is a full 365 days money-back guarantee. So you’ve really got nothing to lose and a world of happiness to gain.
Here is a sampling of the lessons you’ll learn:
Disc 1
Biggest Relationship Lie Exposed:
“If you bleed and do everything in the relationship, she will be loyal
to you.” … Find out what the real deal is.
This thing which you have been taught by “Society” to do well is actually turning-OFF attractive women… what are you doing wrong that you don’t even know?… the answer will leave you wide-eyed.
How could you get a woman to do stuff YOU want instead?…it’s actually easier than you think.
The Secret: How to become an EXPERT at this 10 letter word that will unlock almost every door with all women… I’m 100% sure you’ve been doing this ALL your life, even if we haven’t met yet.
Stop spending and start getting full support from your woman… How to do this without breaking a sweat.
How To Lay Down The Law… in a way that will both make her “coo” in admiration of your manhood and increase her respect for you.
WARNING #2: What is the ONLY kind of woman you need to stay away from and why, this is wise information that will save you from truckloads of “needle poking pain”
Super Suggestion For Dates: You’ll find out where to take your date to that will help avoid boring her to tears with interview style conversation and make her happy that you’re both having fun.
What you should do AFTER getting a woman’s number that will land both of you a fun date! She’s going to want more and more of you after your first date, guaranteed…(just follow the step-by-step guide revealed)
Disc 2
What’s really going on when a woman gets upset after you’ve done what she asked you to… women seem strange, but when you hear the explanation everything will suddenly make sense and you’ll be master of leading any relationship.
Why do women test men?… I know you’ve heard about it before, now find out why they do it so that you can spot it “miles away” and re-act in the correct way.
Do women like emotional men?… society would lead you to believe this is true, but then again society is full of s^$@. What’s the real answer? Sebastian explains it perfectly.
Two Magic Words… that will get you out of “trouble” when your woman starts complaining about everything under the sun.
What’s actually going on when you or your woman starts babbling on and on without end in sight?… get ready for the answer because it’s gonna make you take a hard long look at yourself.
What causes jealousy?… Answer & solution on this disc.
Disc 3
What do people do wrong in relationships that automatically cause it to fail within a year? (track #2)
What is the 6 months test?… And how can you use it to boost your relationship health.
How to get your girl looking fit and sexy for you WITHOUT blaming her, scolding her or making fun of her…
The Secret to having that “New Relationship” sparkle in each other’s eyes even if you’ve been dating her for 10 years… it’s possible and it’s a ‘heaven on earth’ feeling.
Conflict: Why in the world does Sebastian say you need it?
“I did everything she wanted, and then she broke up with me!”
How do you “fix” your relationship so that this NEVER happens again.. .
Should you ask a woman for “permission” to do something?
“Sebastian is shaking his head in disappointment that you even need to think about the answer.”
Again, I get no affiliate commissions for this whatsoever. I really do think this is easily the best product on relationship management.
Learn more about this life-changing audio set here.
Play on, Dr. Asian Rake.
Day Game Tip: Avoid Instadates; Meet in the Evening
September 6, 2009 | 10 comments
A month ago, I had the pleasure of hanging out with Jeremy Soul, the Love Systems Day Game Specialist, for several days. Considering Love System’s reputation for relying on canned routines and overly complicated theories, I was glad to find that we agreed on a lot of points, especially in regard to direct, natural game. It was also refreshing to see this in what Mr. M of Love Systems was teaching. I believe that some of this commonality can be traced back to the inter-continental influence of Sebastian Drake 
One important point that Jeremy and I both advocated in daytime interactions is efficiency and not wasting time with insta-dates. He’s finally gotten around to writing this article elucidating why the common community advice of going on insta-dates can actually be counterproductive. My experience has also been the same. It’s encouraging and validating to see that another Day Game specialist agrees. The community owes him a big “thanks” for getting this out there. Jeremy does a great job explaining this:
Don’t Waste Your Time With Instant Dates
I am going to disagree with conventional wisdom on Day Game here and say that I am against instant dates. An instant date is where you go for a coffee or some kind of mini-date with a woman immediately after having met her in the daytime.
Traditionally, a lot of guys that practice Day Game advocate going on instant dates with women. It’s said that they progress the interaction, build comfort and reduce flakiness.
Indeed, I used to be one of the guys that advocated insta-dating girls. But everything evolves and over time I’ve discovered instant dates to be less efficient than setting up dates for later on, preferably in the evening that night or if not, an evening within the next few days.
When you meet a woman during the daytime, chances are you won’t be able to get physically intimate with her until nightfall. Part of this is down to simple logistics: she is most likely in the middle of errands, on her break from work, or in between meetings. You may well be busy too. For most people, the evening is when they have the majority of their downtime, when it’s likely they’d be able to spend a couple of hours getting intimate with you.
Part of this is down to the psychology of sex. People associate nightfall with intimacy. Therefore if you are going to spend time with a woman with the possibility of sleeping with her, you should arrange for that time to be in the evening.
The final reason is that women like the element of mystery, the feeling of not knowing exactly what is going to happen. If you spend a couple of hours with a woman in the afternoon, taking a long walk though the park or chatting over coffee for a couple of hours, a lot of that mystery is gone. Suddenly, she knows a lot about you and you’ve become that “really interesting guy she spent an afternoon chatting with” instead of the guy she met up with in the evening and went home with.
Of course there are always going to be exceptions to this. It certainly is possible to meet a woman in the middle of the afternoon and get her home before it’s nightfall. It’s also possible to go on instant dates that last until nightfall and then take the woman home. But these are exceptions rather than the rule.
In most cases, your best bet for securing a solid date and for not wasting your time is to build a connection based on Attraction and Qualification (see the Love Systems Triad if you don’t know what these are) for about 5 minutes and then set up a date for an evening sometime soon (ideally that night).
I don’t think instant dates should never be tried. They’re certainly good for showing you what’s possible: that you can go on a random date with a woman you’ve just met in the middle of the day. But instant dates should be a feather in your cap rather than the arrows in your quiver.
This is probably going to be a controversial post and I’m sure there will be those that disagree with me. I think continual experimentation is important to develop any skill, so I invite you to experiment: if you have never tried instant dates, try going on a few, and if you usually do a lot of them, try avoiding them completely. See what happens.
Credit to the Asian Rake for encouraging me to write this article. I recently met him in Singapore and after talking about day game, it became clear that we shared some similar views. David – I hope to see you next time I am in Singapore.
Jeremy Soul
My Appearance on AXN’s The Duke
August 25, 2009 | 12 comments
This was from a few months ago, when I was featured in an episode of AXN Asia’s The Duke. The filming took place in the winter. It was all sort of tongue-in-cheek, and we had a lot of good laughs.
The show’s hosts–Rovilson, Marc, and Eunice–were tremendous fun, totally laidback, professional, and down to earth, without any airs. And the after party was off the hook.
Thanks are due to LL for helping me burn the DVD and edit it into this clip. Enjoy!
My TV Panel on Women in Singapore
August 10, 2009 | 7 comments
Here’s a fun TV show that was filmed a long time ago, but it has only just been released. You can find them on the Razor TV site here.
I’ve embedded below the last two segments and the first segment. You can see the influence of my friend, Zan, in episode 7 and of Brad P. in episode 8.
I was on a bit of a caffeine high from a big cup of Starbucks coffee right before and during this Razor TV interview. Watching the clips now, I notice I was talking pretty fast, probably too fast for my Singaporean audience, which is probably not used to my Canadian accent, LOL.
Having said that, this TV filming with Jamie Yeo, Melissa, and Bryan was a lot of fun to do, and we had plenty to talk about. Enjoy! Feedback and flaming are welcome.
The Dr. Date Appearance on that Old Shan & Rozz Show
August 8, 2009 | 1 comment
After doing quite a few TV appearances and interviews, I’ve learned a lot about the media. The number one thing is to stay positive. Some of my hardest earned lessons include:
1. Check with the hosts on set before filming begins about the nature of the questions and the general angle they will be taking. Don’t believe the assurances of the producers over email. They will say whatever they need to get you on set. I learned this the hard way from that old Shan & Rozz interview when the producers said they just wanted to interview people with interesting jobs, but then they took a somewhat hostile angle in the interview. They were all very nice off-camera, though, and Rosalyn did come around early on in the 45 minute interview.
1A. Do your due diligence on the show and the hosts. This is somewhat related to #1. Prior to filming that Shan & Rozz show, I had never heard of either Shan or Rozz and knew almost nothing about Clicknetwork beyond the fact that they had only done one episode before mine and that they were an online TV station. I didn’t even think many people would see the show. I also didn’t realize that they were much more of a comedy act than an Oprah-style talk show.
2. Be very careful what you say. Err on the side of saying less. I’m still learning to control my tongue, realizing that the editors’ first and foremost priorities are their own interests. They may very well cut out your best parts and leave in your worst parts. That Shan & Rozz interview lasted about 45 minutes but was edited to a relatively strange 6 minutes.
3. Watch your health and energy levels, and feel free to back out if you’re not feeling well. I was in the middle of a flu and was full of Panadol and Red Bull during that Shan & Rozz interview. In fact, I was still sipping Red Bull right in the middle of the shooting.
This and the next post were originally a single post but they were on different topics, so I’ve split them up.
Overall, every piece of publicity can come to work for you.
Play on!
Interview with Amped Asia
August 5, 2009 | 1 comment
Here’s the link to an interview I did a while back with Amped Asia, a prominent Asian-American pop culture website. Enjoy!
My Real Claim to Fame
July 27, 2009 | 4 comments
Here’s my final column for the time being in Singapore’s second-highest circulation paper, The New Paper. I gotta say, I’m disappointed by the headline (”My many intimate dates didn’t lead to happiness”), which gives the piece a negative tone overall. Here’s a link to the article in their online edition.
Below is the original, full version of the article, with the parts that were left out of the published version in bold print.
The Real Claim to Fame
This will be my last column for a while. Ongoing writing projects have been piling up calling for my undivided attention, so I’m taking an indefinite leave of absence from contributing in this space.
Perhaps the biggest lesson I’ve learned in my journey of personal development has been the importance of thinking big and that it is never too late to pursue your dreams.
A few years ago, I was frustrated with my social life. I had been the social misfit and had never mastered those social skills that all the cool people in high school and college just seemed to know instinctively.
I embarked on a period of experimentation and learning to gain the experience and knowledge I missed out on. This involved initiating social interactions with thousands of interesting people, many of whom became my new friends.
I learned a lot about how beautiful women think and feel and about social dynamics overall. And I have endeavored to pass to others the lessons I learned.
Even more, I discovered a great deal of profound insights about myself and made some major and lasting transformations.
I learned that the most significant element in interacting with people is to be your authentic and best self. Be honest about who you are—your limitations and your strengths. As long as you are striving to improve yourself, never be ashamed. I learned that society often tries to impose its own arbitrary social norms, but that a real man determines his own reality.
It’s Never Too Late to Change
I took a stand on the things about myself that I’ve wanted to change for decades but never followed through with. At the ripe old age of 30, I got into the best shape of my life. I also took up new hobbies and learned new skills that I had wanted to pursue for many years but kept putting off. In other words, I stopped making excuses for myself and my social predicament, took responsibility for my own life, and got those parts of my life handled. I started to become my ideal self. And I have never before been happier.
Most of all, I concluded that while intimate encounters with many women may bring a lot of pleasure, it doesn’t lead to sustained happiness. So since 2008, I have instead chosen to have meaningful, long-term relationships.
Early on, during that time of social experimentation, I went on a string of intimate encounters lasting a couple of months. I had mentioned this to the reporter writing the original feature article on me that was published almost a year ago in The New Paper. But somehow the headline misleadingly proclaimed that this was my “claim to fame.”
Actually, in the international attraction industry, which does a brisk business every year in the tens of millions of US dollars, very few people even knew about that statistic. If anything, my real “claim to fame” is various innovations and advancements in a natural, direct style of interacting with women, which I have come to call, Genuine Game. It is predicated on getting yourself into the right place emotionally and mentally, and then expressing yourself honestly and with humor. For more on this, see the articles on my website.
What credentials do I have for coaching others in the social arts? The world of social coaching is unusual in that there is no governing body or set of verifiable standards. A lot of people masquerade as dating coaches. For me, usually, men start by hearing my story and identifying with it. They then read my articles and get my Dating 101 audio course. Then they derive tremendous help from them, so they know that my advice works. If they need feedback that’s more personalized, they’ll get in touch with me, and as I get to know them, I tell them exactly what I can and can’t do to help them.
While I lament the deceptive headline, I do not mean to imply that I think there is anything morally objectionable to casual encounters between mutually consenting adults, or that I have any major regrets about my past. Every man should at least have the freedom to sow his wild oats before settling down, should he choose to do so.
Those experiences contributed to make me the man I am today. Though it took me until my early thirties to figure things out socially and catch up in my facility in social dynamics, it is never too late to realize one’s dreams. Without those experiences, I would likely never have learned enough about women and myself or matured enough emotionally to approach and attract my later long-term girlfriends, who have enriched my life deeply.
While I let slip away much of my social life in high school, college, and my twenties, I now have a whole range of life opportunities open to me that I could have only dreamt of a mere five years ago.
It is never too late to become whoever you want to be.
Although I am on a writing sabbatical, you can still keep in touch with me by signing up for my mailing list, which you can find on the top right-hand corner of my website. Subscribers will get free excerpts of my forthcoming book as they become available. But sign up now as I will be closing the list to new subscribers in the very near future.
I owe a big thanks to the many loyal and supportive fans of this Dr. Date column. See you on the other side!
Dear Dr. Date,
What’s the best way to get a girl’s number?
Yours, Jerky Jeff
Dear Jeff,
This is the wrong question.
What you should really ask is, “How do I get a girl attracted to me?”
If a girl is attracted to you, it is quite easy to get her number. She may even ask you for yours first.
If she is not attracted to you, then it won’t matter how you ask, then the number doesn’t matter. If she gives you a number at all, either she will give you a fake number, or she won’t pick up or return your calls.
So how do you get a girl attracted to you? For more on this, check out the articles on my website and get a hold of the Dating 101 audio course. Let’s keep in touch, Jerky Jeff!
Attainable Beauty
July 1, 2009 | 3 comments
For the considerably growing number of female fans of this site, here’s something for you. My gal friend, Rachel K., recently crowned Miss Singapore Universe 2009, is sponsoring a make-over contest here in Singapore for the month of July.
Rachel has teamed up with several other of our beautiful friends to create various make-over programs for the public. They’ve entitled the contest, “VIP,” which stands for “Vanity in Private,” and it’s through the company, Dermasolutions. What is particularly interesting is the mission behind the contest:
“The mission of the V.I.P aims to educate the public on matters of beauty, fashion, style, personal grooming and lifestyle and also to raise funds for charity. Part of the proceeds from all sales of Dermasolutions products and services will go to charity.
“The event will not be a parade of unattainable beauty, but rather a display of real people who have had undergone treatments provided by Dermasolutions and attained great results which can be realistically achieved. By putting a spotlight on peoeple who were voted to have achieved results, Dermasolutions thrives to provide excellent and results-oriented treatments and services.”
Sounds like a worthy cause to me! Through her generosity, I was able to sample the fitness machines, which seemed to do a pretty good job of toning and getting you lean, not just overall, but also allowing you to target specific areas. I also got to try the one of the men’s spa treatments, which was really refreshing and effective.
So check out the site, and if you’re in Singapore, enter the contest and get all your girl friends to enter it, too!
Btw, just to be clear. I am not an affiliate and get no profit at all from getting people to enter the contest. I really do believe that this is a fun opportunity and a cool way to contribute to charity.
Click on the images to go the contest site, or go here.
Play on, The Asian Rake.
Speaking Up Against Stereotyping of Asian-American Men
June 3, 2009 | 4 comments
Interesting video here with Yul Kwon, winner of the million-dollar prize in Survivor, voted one of America’s sexiest men by People magazine, plus some typical Asian-American accomplishments, such as being a Phi Beta Kappa Stanford grad, a Yale Law School grad, and work stints with McKinsey and Google. Also featuring The Daily Show’s Aasif Mandvi and Jeff Yang of the San Francisco Chronicle.
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